Uh oh. Seems like Cisco Systems runs a big chuck of the Internet on some thing called iOS. It’s deja vu all over again: you may recall back in 2007 when the iPhone was announced that Cisco owned the trademark for the name “iPhone”. Once again, Apple rolls out the strategy of “name it what we want, get legal to make it happen later”. Cool. If every company operated like this, it would make the job of naming companies much, much easier. And put more lawyers to work, recharging our economy in the process.

UPDATE: Kudos to Apple for making a legal deal with Cisco this time before launching the product. Says Cisco: “Cisco has agreed to license the iOS trademark to Apple for use as the name of Apple’s operating system for iPhone, iPod touch and iPad.  The license is for use of the trademark only and not for any technology.”

Video game software; Software for computer games; Optical disc recorded video game software; Optical disc recorded computer game software; Optical disc recorded game programs for hand-held typed electronic games with liquid crystal display

Gizmodo, which alerted us to this strange trademark filing, speculates on what it could mean:

Oh, what could it be? It sounds like it could be a trademark for the EULA or privacy section of DC Universe Online, the Sony-developed DC Comics MMORPG. Or something related to that game. How else is Sony thinking it can register the name Badman in any kind of trademark filing and get away with it?

That’s the gazillion dollar question: how can Sony get a trademark for “Badman” in a tagline that plays off the kind of Batman-speak bandied about in the old Batman TV series? Seems like whoever owns the rights to Batman wouldn’t take too kindly to this. Could this be the Joker’s dark wit? Maybe IP-Caped-Crusader Marty Schwimmer can get to the bottom of this.

Holy slap in the farce: This strange turn of events inspired me to look-up some of those phrases from the old show, and it’s amazing how downright wacky they are. Here is a sample to get your Dada groove on:

Penguin: Here comes the bride, all bagged and tied!

Riddler: Batgirls wilt just as quickly as other women!

Robin: Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!

Batman: I’m just going to hang around the bar. I don’t want to look conspicuous.

Robin: Holy bill of rights, Batman!

Robin: Holy haberdashery, Batman!

King Tut: If the caped crumb is here, the cowled creep can’t be far behind.

Commissioner Gordon: You know I’m violently opposed to police brutality.

Penguin [Organizing his election]: Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people.

Catwoman: I’m not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!

Robin: The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it’s almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.

Robin [Figuring out a riddle]: The opposite of a girl is a boy!

Batman: Poor devil. Forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to fifty degrees below zero. No wonder his mind is warped.

Batman: Robin, warm up the Bat-spot analyzer while I take a sample of this affected cloth.

Batman: I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?

Chief O’Hara: When it comes to the human brain, we’re not equipped.
Robin: Holy atomic pile, Batman!

King Tut: [to Nefertiti] How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs.

Batman: Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.

Batman: I’ve just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.

Batman: Oh, Catwoman, Catwoman, will you never learn?

Robin: Under this garb, we’re perfectly ordinary Americans.

Robin: I couldn’t resist. You were taken in by her, but I’m too young for that sort of thing.

Robin: Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!

Narrator: Horrors! One lemon!

Robin: Holy oleo!

Catwoman: I didn’t know you could yodel!

Egghead: Woe is me, my criminal career is now egg-stinct!

Batman: Yes, citizen, you may return to your harpsichord.

Robin: We’re on official business!

Robin: Gosh, Batman, what are they dressed like *that* for?

Penguin: Well, I hope you have something special cooked up for that caped creep.

Batman: Let’s go, Robin. We’ve set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow.

Commissioner Gordon: Tanks in the street, a horse in my outer office… Has the whole world gone batty?

Shame: Your mother wore Army shoes.
Batman: Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable.

Shame: You big sissy, you couldn’t drive nails in a snow bank.
Batman: Why would I want to?

[Dr. Cassandra uses her alvino ray gun on Batman, Robin and Batgirl]
Batgirl: I feel like I’m getting flat!
Cabala: What a pity…

Robin: Gosh Batman, the nobility of the almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, it was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.

There are a lot of gems here, but my favorite has to be, “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!” Can it be long until Sony files a trademark for it? [Sources: USPTO, Gizmodo, IMDB]

In the “Mouse Traps” section kids will have fun answering trivia questions like, “Are you limited to only one named inventor on a patent application?” and “Can you get a patent on a design for a holiday ornament?” and ” Do trademark attorneys have to register to practice at the US Patent and Trademark Office?”. In the “Chicken or Egg section“, kids will have hours of fun trying to remember the correct evolution of different product and company logos over the last 75 years!

[ More posts about trademark | More posts about patents ] [ More blogs about trademark | More blogs about naming ]

SND Name Consulting
Exceptional names. Guaranteed.
Strategic and linguistically sound.
www.namedevelopment.com

Underneath Strategic Name Development’s ad is an ad by competitor Namebase (displayed in rotation, so hit refresh if you don’t see it), which asks:

Name Too Descriptive?
Strategic Name Development
Namebase Naming Agency
www.namebase.com

No, it’s nothing nefarious by Namebase. There is no trademark infringement here. Namebase is free to use its competitors “name” in its ad in this fashion, because strategic name development is a generic phrase. Yes, Namebase’s ad is diluting the brand equity of Strategic Name Development’s name, and may be confusing folks looking for Strategic Name Development (the company, not the service), who then click on Namebase’s ad thinking they have found Strategic Name Development (again, the company). But it’s more likely that people who click on Namebase’s ad have found just what they were looking for, strategic name development (the service, not the company this time).

It’s possible that this part of the ad is a competitive jab by Namebase at Strategic Name Development: “Name Too Descriptive? Strategic Name Development”. But probably not. Namebase is not in the best position to play the “Name too descriptive?” card.

[ More posts about naming consultants | More blogs about strategic name development ]

After nearly four months of research and thousands of options, American Express Financial Advisers on Wednesday plans to unveil a new corporate name to its employees and independent advisers.

Company officials are keeping the moniker close to the vest, but they say it won’t include the three letters “IDS,” which stand for Investors Diversified Services, the regionally famous name of American Express Financial’s predecessor company.

“I feel the name that we landed on really conveys the attributes that we will be advertising and talking about as we build the company,” Chief Marketing Officer Kim Sharan said Monday in an interview….

…The name search included American Express Financial’s 18,000 employees and financial advisers nationwide and the New York branding agency of Lippincott Mercer. Forty percent of employees and advisers participated in an online survey to determine what characteristics they most associated with the company, Sharan said.

“There has been such buzz about this place shortly after the spinoff was announced,” said David Kanihan, a spokesman for American Express Financial Advisors. “The name is something people can really latch onto.”

The company determined its name should reflect these characteristics: personal and approachable, authentic, pro-active, creative, knowledgeable and vast, Sharan said.

Amex won’t say what the new name is, but we can give you a peek. Between April 11-13 of this year they filed the following trademarks under “financial services”:

Archetype
Amplify
Amworth
Ameriprise
Luminous
Oakbridge
Sageborne
Sagemont
Riversource
Tiller

Filing multiple marks at the end of a naming process is a typical procedure, giving American Express multiple options during the global vetting process. So which of these names will be THE name?

We’re going to guess that it will be Ameriprise, though we hope it won’t be. Anyone else?

UPDATE 5/25: Don’t say we didn’t warn you. In a quick change of course, American Express went from being secretive about the new name yesterday to announcing it today. As predicted, they went with Ameriprise, because despite the spin, it was the easiest name to sell internally. How can we tell? From the Star Tribune:

“The name Ameriprise reflects both our history and our strengths as one of the leading financial services firms in the United States,” said Jim Cracchiolo, chairman and CEO of Financial Advisors said in a statement. “The name represents our American roots and the vastness of our nationwide network of over 10,500 financial advisors. It also embodies the enterprising culture our people bring to bear in helping provide our clients the peace of mind that comes with planning for a secure financial future.”

Compare the rationale above with the name attributes they were looking for, as announced yesterday:

The company determined its name should reflect these characteristics: personal and approachable, authentic, pro-active, creative, knowledgeable and vast, Sharan said.

Well, “vast” made the cut anyway. But in order to help push the pedestrian, internally-focused name in a bold and exciting direction, the logo team has devised a revolutionary visual concept for a financial service company. Hold onto your hats:

The Ameriprise Financial logo is based on a compass, designed to symbolize how the company helps its clients navigate toward their financial futures.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all before….

First, plead ignorance: “We didn’t know we were trying to infringe on anything,” said Lisa Wendler, the beagle’s mom.

Second, bite the bullet and change your name–don’t even think about fighting the big company, if they’ve beaten you to the trademark office:

“Paul Wendler said he passed on the idea of contesting the matter with Macy’s.

“All I could imagine was paying enormous amounts of money,” he said.

Smart man.

Finally, move on with a stronger brand than you had before, a win-win for all concerned:

Despite the confusion and need to change their company name, the Wendlers said they have not noticed any drop-off in business.

They’re coming out of the experience wiser.

Choosing a name, they now know, matters and can be costly.

“I can see Macy’s point,” Paul Wendler said. “There could be confusion between the two of us.”

Lisa Wendler hopes that other small business owners won’t overlook the matter of obtaining trademark protection.

“It was a huge lesson that we learned,” she said.

Presumably, Macy the the beagle can keep her name. Macy Gray would not return our telephone calls, but so far appears to have no intention of opening an eponymously named large retail chain, or a floral design business for that matter.

The agreement, worth at least $6 million over four years, splits the proceeds evenly between the team and San Francisco’s Recreation and Park Department — an amount that one of the deal’s detractors described as “chump change” but that backers said was badly needed for city services.

The deal to rename the stadium Monster Park comes five weeks before San Francisco voters will decide whether to cement in city statute the stadium’s historic name, Candlestick Park, and bar it from being called anything else. The prohibition would extend to a new stadium, too, if one were built at that site on Candlestick Point.

A great name recognition coup for Monster.com, no? Well, no, but ultimately yes. The company that paid $6 million to rename the stadium Monster Park is actually Monster Cable Products Inc, and is completely unrelated to the job search site. But the folks at Monster.com aren’t complaining one bit. With football season in full swing, they just received free tickets to the Monster’s Ball.

Trouble is, Mongolians are largely choosing the same surname, Borjigin, the tribal name of Ghengis Khan. For more on confusing Mongolian naming conventions, check out the entire article in the Globe and Mail.

Centurion Publishing Group has revealed why it chose to change its name to Redactive Media Group after almost 24 years in the business.

Chief executive Brian Grant said altering the company name came at a logical point in its history.

He said: “The Latin word ‘redact’ means ‘to prepare for publication’, and combined with a sense of dynamic activity, this name captures the essence of who we are and what we do.”

Get it? “Redact” + “active” = Redactive. “But wait”, you say, “Is there a risk that non-Latin-speaking mortals may pronounce the preternatural pseudonym “Red Active”?

Fear not. Not only have they figured out that “Redact” is a clearer way to say “Publishing” than, say, the word “Publishing”, but also that treating the logo like this –

– will help the unitiated to de-emphasize the “Red” in the pronounciation, despite their whole website being red. Besides, “Red Active” is a different company altogether, residing at www.redactive.com where ther logo is presented like this:

So next time you think “publishing”, at least one company hopes you’re not actively seeing red.

Lindows CEO Michael Robertson has even done the traditional name release CEO song and dance routine to explain the new name (note to the world: great names NEVER need to be explained, only bad names do):

Today we’re announcing our new name – Linspire. The new name incorporates the notched L we are known for, ‘Lin’ from Linux and ‘spire’ which means pinnacle. More important than what people think of the new name initially, is what they come to think of it over time. Few people who hear “Motorola” think of radios for motor cars, but that’s the heritage of their name. Motorola’s products and services now convey much different meaning to consumers. Lindows will face the same challenge with our new name. Most computer users have never experienced Lindows, so we have a chance to make that all-important first impression. We will work hard to make sure Linspire comes to stand for affordability and choice as well as ease of use.

Sadly, explaining the obvious, in name and deed, is a cardinal sin of branding (which is why I feel so guilty about doing it now. Sorry). Lindows, by adopting the name Linspire, wants you to believe that they are inspired, or that you’ll be inspired by their product, but if that were true they wouldn’t have to tell you about it, let alone wax rhapsodic about pinnacles or beat you over the head with that Linux connection, just like we’ve been beating you over the head with this story. At least we can pledge, “enough already,” and wash our hands of it. It will likely be the marketplace that will eventually force Linspire to the same conclusion.