This year marks the tenth anniversary of Agent Smart’s death, and consequently the ninth anniversary of when “schwing” stopped being associated with namers. He was our Austin Powers, our Keith Richards, our Richard Branson. Most of the official record seems to have disappeared from the Web. We found only a brief account of his death:

John Smart, unarmed, shot to death on Oct. 6, 1998 when police fired at least 13 rounds into his Mercedes convertible.

That was a late model Mercedes convertible. According to published reports at the time, he was stopped in San Francisco (our fair city) for suspicion of either soliciting a prostitute or drugs or both. Police said that Smart tried to run them down, at which point his legend was eternalized. For a full, rollicking year afterwards, namers of every ilk had to add extra memory to their Palm Pilots just to handle the overflow from their social calendars.

But that equity has faded, and it’s time for another high-ranking naming superstar from a big San Francisco shop to go out in a blaze of glory. We’d happily volunteer, if we thought Igor would rate better than a small mention on page eight of the San Francisco Chronicle. No, it must be someone from a page one agency, an agency like Landor. Any takers? Anthony?

Are we biased in our opinion? Absolutely. We believe strongly that the name a naming company names itself is a clue to the kinds of company names they believe in. And if a naming company cannot manage to give itself a distinctive, memorable name that sets itself apart from the slew of competitors you see here, a company name that can evolve into a strong brand within the industry and come to represent more than just the goods and services being offered, how can they possibly convince others that what they fail to do in their own company name they can somehow magically do for their clients?

So a call to arms is in order: Namers, name thyself well! Because you’ve got company.

So if you work at a naming firm or you are a domesticated farm animal, or both, send us an email and we’ll try and get you on the list.

THE MENU

• Pesto baked brie & imported cheeses with fresh fruit, rustic breads & olives
• Miniature filet mignon with balsamic caramelized onions & Roquefort
• Spicy crab & scallop cakes with a cilantro lime aioli
• Mini phyllo cups filled with spinach sun dried tomatoes feta cheese & olive tapenade
• Smoked salmon wraps w baby spinach sweet onions & goat cheese
• Marinated mushrooms, roasted beets, artichoke hearts, grilled asparagus platter with a roasted garlic saffron aioli
• Ahi tartars on crisp wonton chips with wasabi aioli & tobiko caviar

THE NAMERS

• Abnu, Wordlab
• Alexandra Watkins, Eat My Words
• Alton Wright, Wright Brands
• Amy Sherman
• Andrea Michaels, Acme Naming
• Anthony Shore, Landor
• Aaron Hall, Catchword
• Burt Alper, Catchword
• Carol Miller, Red Pentameter
• Daniel Edelstein
• Eunice Park, Landor
• Dave Hurlbert
• Deborah Schatten, Brandese
• Frank Binney
• Jay Jurisich, Igor
• Jonathan Littman, Simmer Branding Studio
• Lisa Awrey
• Marc Hershon, Simmer Branding Studio
• Maria Cypher,Catchword
• Mark Gunnion
• Marty Neumeier, Neutron LLC
• Nan Budinger, Metaphor
• Nancy Friedman, Wordworking
• Reed Kirk Rahlmann
• Sandra Lee Messer
• Shannon De Jong
• Steve Cecil, Wherewords
• Steve Manning, Igor
• Steve Price, Lexicon
• Susan Manning
• Susan Carp, Imagineering
• Tate Linden, Stoked Brands