Clever title, huh? Just Snark Hunting making a lame joke out of a cheesy pun? If only. Incredibly, the title of this post is, verbatim, an actual recent trademark filing by Sony! Here are the Goods & Services listed for this mark on the USPTO:

Video game software; Software for computer games; Optical disc recorded video game software; Optical disc recorded computer game software; Optical disc recorded game programs for hand-held typed electronic games with liquid crystal display

Gizmodo, which alerted us to this strange trademark filing, speculates on what it could mean:

Oh, what could it be? It sounds like it could be a trademark for the EULA or privacy section of DC Universe Online, the Sony-developed DC Comics MMORPG. Or something related to that game. How else is Sony thinking it can register the name Badman in any kind of trademark filing and get away with it?

That’s the gazillion dollar question: how can Sony get a trademark for “Badman” in a tagline that plays off the kind of Batman-speak bandied about in the old Batman TV series? Seems like whoever owns the rights to Batman wouldn’t take too kindly to this. Could this be the Joker’s dark wit? Maybe IP-Caped-Crusader Marty Schwimmer can get to the bottom of this.

Holy slap in the farce: This strange turn of events inspired me to look-up some of those phrases from the old show, and it’s amazing how downright wacky they are. Here is a sample to get your Dada groove on:

Penguin: Here comes the bride, all bagged and tied!

Riddler: Batgirls wilt just as quickly as other women!

Robin: Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!

Batman: I’m just going to hang around the bar. I don’t want to look conspicuous.

Robin: Holy bill of rights, Batman!

Robin: Holy haberdashery, Batman!

King Tut: If the caped crumb is here, the cowled creep can’t be far behind.

Commissioner Gordon: You know I’m violently opposed to police brutality.

Penguin [Organizing his election]: Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people.

Catwoman: I’m not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!

Robin: The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it’s almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.

Robin [Figuring out a riddle]: The opposite of a girl is a boy!

Batman: Poor devil. Forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to fifty degrees below zero. No wonder his mind is warped.

Batman: Robin, warm up the Bat-spot analyzer while I take a sample of this affected cloth.

Batman: I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?

Chief O’Hara: When it comes to the human brain, we’re not equipped.
Robin: Holy atomic pile, Batman!

King Tut: [to Nefertiti] How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs.

Batman: Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.

Batman: I’ve just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.

Batman: Oh, Catwoman, Catwoman, will you never learn?

Robin: Under this garb, we’re perfectly ordinary Americans.

Robin: I couldn’t resist. You were taken in by her, but I’m too young for that sort of thing.

Robin: Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!

Narrator: Horrors! One lemon!

Robin: Holy oleo!

Catwoman: I didn’t know you could yodel!

Egghead: Woe is me, my criminal career is now egg-stinct!

Batman: Yes, citizen, you may return to your harpsichord.

Robin: We’re on official business!

Robin: Gosh, Batman, what are they dressed like *that* for?

Penguin: Well, I hope you have something special cooked up for that caped creep.

Batman: Let’s go, Robin. We’ve set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow.

Commissioner Gordon: Tanks in the street, a horse in my outer office… Has the whole world gone batty?

Shame: Your mother wore Army shoes.
Batman: Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable.

Shame: You big sissy, you couldn’t drive nails in a snow bank.
Batman: Why would I want to?

[Dr. Cassandra uses her alvino ray gun on Batman, Robin and Batgirl]
Batgirl: I feel like I’m getting flat!
Cabala: What a pity…

Robin: Gosh Batman, the nobility of the almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, it was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.

There are a lot of gems here, but my favorite has to be, “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!” Can it be long until Sony files a trademark for it? [Sources: USPTO, Gizmodo, IMDB]

The Canadian trial judge commented on the unusual nature of the parties’ marriage at para. 31 of her reasons for judgment:

Marriages are as varied as the people in them, but the courts have recognized certain common types of marriages when considering entitlements upon their dissolution.  This marriage does not fit any standard pattern. There is a 30-year age difference between the plaintiff and the defendant, and their expectations upon marriage were respectively unrealistic and completely at odds.  The plaintiff married because she wanted to have a child; the defendant married because he wanted a companion for the coming years.  Their respective financial, educational, and employment experiences and backgrounds are completely different.  Although both are of Chinese extraction, they come from different economic and political cultures – the plaintiff from northern China, and the defendant from Hong Kong.  While the defendant immigrated to Canada many years ago, speaks English well, and has lived a cosmopolitan lifestyle, the plaintiff has spent her entire life in China, has never travelled, and speaks minimal English.

If only he were Mr. Wang and she Ms. Poon, but no marriage is perfect.

Section 2(a) of the Lanham Act, 15 U.S.C. 1052(a), bars the registration of trademarks that are deemed “immoral” or “scandalous.”

“For the past few years, the USPTO has been on a Section 2(a) rampage, and this decision is the latest step in the PTO’s quest to become the commercial morality police,” says law professor Marc Randazza.

After Michelle Obama saw Igor and his shirt she requested a picture with him. While it might not be a handshake with the Democratic Nominee, Igor said meeting Michelle was “awesome.”

Hat Tip: Amanda Scott Lawyers in Maine

The “Homeland Security Blanket” is the title of this work by Keene Valley artist Jerilea Zempel. After Zempel was detained by U.S. border guards for having a sketch of the project she decided to give it a new name.

Yup, it’s Poolife. They make products to clean swimming pools. It’s true.

The marketing geniuses at Neutrogena, realizing how crowded the women’s skin care product sector is, have started selling vibrators. But not just any vibrator, a vibrator that a woman can, with head held high, take through airport security, buy at the drugstore, and leave in plain sight for the kids to find. Brilliant.

It’s the Neutrogena Wave, a sex toy with plausible deniability built-in.

Here’s to wiggle room:

Cory Doctorow, an expat Canadian blogger, journalist and science fiction author who serves as co-editor of the blog Boing Boing, explains the history of Canada Day.

In today’s Charlotte Observer, some jackass spouts off on the product name “Hand-spun milkshake”.

Our erstwhile competitors, the strategically named name developers Strategic Name Development, have taken rationalization and hooha to Landorian heights. Either that or they actually believe that invented, compound contractions based tangentially in the Zulu language actually communicate ideas to the rest of the world. Strategic name development?:

Via a strategically reasoned press release:

MINNEAPOLIS–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Zikula™, an open source software, was named by Strategic Name Development, a global brand naming consultancy that develops brand names, product names, company names, logos, and conducts global brand name research.

The Zikula brand name was created from several Zulu words, one of the official languages of South Africa, where “Zila ukudla” means fast and “Lula” means easy, which are the main attributes of the software.

The other top-of lexicon-official-lanuages of South Africa are: Afrikaans (Afrikaans), English, Ndebele (isiNdebele), Northern Sotho (Sesotho sa Leboa), Sotho (Sesotho), Swati (siSwati), Tsonga (Xitsonga), Tswana (Setswana), Venda (Tshiven?a), and Xhosa (isiXhosa). Can’t wait to see what Strategic Name Development does with those.

Experience the real Africa at the Zikula website.

Now that you’re hot to go, prepare yourself for this major re-naming news:

Blue Sky Logistics Changes Name To Blue Sky Technologies

June 2, 2008

Blue Sky Logistics, Inc., a real-time supply chain visibility software provider, has changed its name to Blue Sky Technologies, Inc. The name change is expected to help shippers better identify the company’s role in the supply chain marketplace.

“With the word ‘logistics’ as part of our name, we found ourselves often being confused with being a third-party logistics provider or 3PL”, explains Steve Hensley, president, Blue Sky Technologies, Inc. “We would get phone calls for moving truckloads from point A to point B or we would get asked to manage a warehouse for a potential client. These are not our core competencies. Since our role is to help customers though visibility dashboard technology to better leverage their existing investments in supply chain infrastructure, changing the name seemed like the logical thing to do.”

It’s always nice when ditching the name “Logistics” is seen as the “logical” thing to do, and in this case a belated admission that the name “Logistics” is illogical, which is the only logical conclusion. And we couldn’t agree more that it is soooooo annoying to get calls for moving truckloads from point A to point B, as we have long-since moved to a Points L, Y and N moving strategy. Such are the logistics of the naming racket.

A bold, risky move this name change. So how has it played out in the marketplace?

“The reaction from our customers to the name change has been very favorable,” added Hensley, “They agreed that the new name better describes the solutions that we offer in bringing dashboard methodology to supply chain visibility. For these customers, we have helped them get additional value from current investments in their supply chain rather than scrapping what they had and start over. Our objective is to always help clients find fresh use of the assets they already have in place.”

We too are always working to help our clients find fresh use of their assets, so we couldn’t agree more.

For those of you keeping score at home, here is a synopsis of this breaking news: A non third-party real-time supply chain logistics solutions technologies provider with core competencies of leveraging visibility dashboard technology to bring dashboard methodology to supply chain visibility has logically jettisoned “Logistics” from its name to avoid being confused with third-party 3PLs. Got it?

Thanks to Logistics Online, “A VertMarkets Marketplace for Industry Professionals”, for bringing us the Blue Sky press release. I bet you didn’t even know there was a “VertMarkets Marketplace” out there, did you?

Finding no evidence on which to conclude that “purchasers are likely to assume or expect that beer (and malt beverages) and ‘meat juices’ originate from a single source,” the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board reversed the refusal of the trademark examiner to approve the trademark Heineken for “meat juices” reports trademark attorney John Welch on The TTABlog®, adding this query: “What do you think the odds are that this mark will clear the opposition stage?”

If you think you’d hafta be drunk to order meat-flavored drinks, you might not have heard of Jones Soda’s holiday special Turkey and Gravy Soda.

Here’s the BevNet review:

Jones Soda’s Turkey & Gravy soda is one of the strangest things we’ve ever tasted. First of all, the product uses an interesting formulation that contains a variety of ingredients rarely (if ever) seen in beverage products and it’s zero carb/calorie. Not to mention that we’ve never had turkey and gravy that was carbonated and sweetened with Splenda ;). Anyway, the product’s aroma definitely smells like turkey and gravy, but the flavor is another story. The taste is noticeably salty and has a mild sweetness to it. There is a slight “turkey 8 gravy”-like finish to the product, but the addition of carbonation and sweetness generally hide the taste otherwise. Honestly, it was pretty hard for any of our testers to keep from spitting the product out. So is this product a failure? No, not at all. We have to give Jones Soda credit for putting this product out there purely to create buzz — and they definitely succeeded on that front. The real challenge is yet to come — can Jones turn this buzz into something that helps energize the brand and gets consumers to buy more of the product? The potential is there, but only time will tell. Overall, we give this product good marks for creativity and execution, but we really hope meat flavored beverages don’t become a lasting trend ;)

One meat-flavored drink does not make a trend, you might say. But what if you combine the energy drink trend and the flavored water trend?

Isn’t Meat Water a natural? Now, I know, naming and branding aficionados will say that “Meat Water” is generic. What the market for meat-flavored energy drinks wants is something more evocative, more RAW.