This product is no joke. GoGirl is selling 40k units a week, those units being funnels. Apparently, women have wanted to pee standing up for a while, something of a “pent up demand”. The idea being you don’t have to sit on nasty public toilet seats just to pee. It also makes getting drunk and pissing in an alley less problematic. Their tag line is also pitch perfect, “Don’t take life sitting down”.

ELISABETH THIERIOT

As we gleefully pranced and flounced about, celebrating the 250 thousandth download of the Igor Naming Guide; we got a complaint. At 115 pages, the ultimate free, how-to resource for naming companies and products, had gotten too long.

Having nothing better to do, we responded. The naming guide is now available in two different lengths: soul-crushing (115 pages) and moderately-irritating (26 pages).

Either version of the naming guide can be downloaded here.

Keith James Dunlap of Portland Maine (my very old friend, er, ex-bartender at the Great Jones Cafe) writes, via Facebook:

Help me launch this phrase, social networthing, i.e. where the conversation is designed to allow everyone involved to drop enough hints about how much money they have or make, so that by the end, each knows exactly where he or she stands in terms of the income ladder.

Keith would also like you to know that he is now a successful attorney and his wife is a famous novelist.

In what has become a recurring skit of rebranding theater, Microsoft is yet again relaunching its search service with a new name. This time around, until it is swept aside unceremoniously in a couple years, the name is Bing.

In case you need a reminder of the history of Microsoft search names, here it is: Originally called MSN Search, Microsoft rebranded their search service as Windows Live Search. Eventually, that clunker was shortened to the generic Live Search. Now, apparently realizing that “live” and “search” are both basic expectations all users have of any search engine, MS is changing the name yet again to Bing.

At least they have a plan now, right? They do, don’t they? Let’s check in with Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who had this to say about Bing in an interview today with Walt Mossberg at Walt’s All Things Digital conference, with my annotations in brackets:

Why Bing? Obviously we needed a better name [not great, just "better"], says Ballmer. “We needed a name that says this is all about search [if that's the case, doesn't 'Live Search' say that more directly than 'Bing'?].” Ballmer doesn’t seem to really know. “I’m not the creative guy, here…short mattered [short is the new (sch)long?]…people like to ‘verb up’ [every day before work, and then a quick shower]…works globally, doesn’t have negative connotations [other than this, anyway].” Walt: So everyone is going to walk out of here and say “Bing me”? [And 'Bing off' and 'Go Bing yourself'.] Clearly that’s Ballmer’s hope. “This is a very important step…it’s not a substitute for innovation, but we need to build brand equity in addition to technology equity.” [The eureka moment: brands matter! Take that Apple and Google -- we're onto your game!]

Was securing the trademark problematic? Ballmer says there were a few challenges [Bing & Bong?]. Bing Crosby, apparently, was not an issue [because he's dead?]. In any case, Ballmer seems to enjoy saying the word of his new search service. Maybe Microsoft should consider a new name for Zune. “Zing”?

…Walt circles back and notes that Ask spent an enormous amount of money on a rebranding campaign that ultimately failed despite some good buzz. How much money is Microsoft dedicating to the Bing branding campaign? “Lots,” says Ballmer. “When I approved the budget, I gulped, and a gulp in a $60 billion company, well, that’s a big gulp.” [Ahh, here's the strategy: name it anything and then dump giant Balmergulps full of cash into advertising it.]

Of course in the age of Googling, Twittering and Facebooking, everybody, even Microsoft, has realized the value of “verbing up” your name. (As an aside, can you imagine saying this: “Hey, you want to catch a movie tonight?” “Sorry, I’d love to, but I’ll be busy Microsofting all night long.” Maybe they can use that as a verb that means: “to reinstall Windows after the computer has crashed and burned”.)

Unfortunately, Microsoft seems to be grasping at straws with this one (or reaching for a bowl of bing cherries?), and when you consider that the word ping has evolved from a networking term to a more general usage meaning ‘communication’ (“I’ll ping you later with the directions to the party.”), it begins to seem like maybe, just maybe, the entire rationale for this new name was, simply, Bing is ‘ping’ with a ‘B’. If that strategy seems sickeningly familiar to you, perhaps it’s because we pointed out here a couple years ago when Microsoft launched Zune, named by Lexicon Branding, that no matter what Lexicon’s convoluted rationalization of the thinking behind the name Zune, it boiled down to Zune is ‘tune’ with a ‘Z’.

And for the original bit of rebranding humor, here’s Eric Idle reciting an old bit he did with Monty Python, Rock Notes, that neatly summarizes the process Microsoft went through to rename its search service…again:

Clever title, huh? Just Snark Hunting making a lame joke out of a cheesy pun? If only. Incredibly, the title of this post is, verbatim, an actual recent trademark filing by Sony! Here are the Goods & Services listed for this mark on the USPTO:

Video game software; Software for computer games; Optical disc recorded video game software; Optical disc recorded computer game software; Optical disc recorded game programs for hand-held typed electronic games with liquid crystal display

Gizmodo, which alerted us to this strange trademark filing, speculates on what it could mean:

Oh, what could it be? It sounds like it could be a trademark for the EULA or privacy section of DC Universe Online, the Sony-developed DC Comics MMORPG. Or something related to that game. How else is Sony thinking it can register the name Badman in any kind of trademark filing and get away with it?

That’s the gazillion dollar question: how can Sony get a trademark for “Badman” in a tagline that plays off the kind of Batman-speak bandied about in the old Batman TV series? Seems like whoever owns the rights to Batman wouldn’t take too kindly to this. Could this be the Joker’s dark wit? Maybe IP-Caped-Crusader Marty Schwimmer can get to the bottom of this.

Holy slap in the farce: This strange turn of events inspired me to look-up some of those phrases from the old show, and it’s amazing how downright wacky they are. Here is a sample to get your Dada groove on:

Penguin: Here comes the bride, all bagged and tied!

Riddler: Batgirls wilt just as quickly as other women!

Robin: Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!

Batman: I’m just going to hang around the bar. I don’t want to look conspicuous.

Robin: Holy bill of rights, Batman!

Robin: Holy haberdashery, Batman!

King Tut: If the caped crumb is here, the cowled creep can’t be far behind.

Commissioner Gordon: You know I’m violently opposed to police brutality.

Penguin [Organizing his election]: Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people.

Catwoman: I’m not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!

Robin: The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it’s almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.

Robin [Figuring out a riddle]: The opposite of a girl is a boy!

Batman: Poor devil. Forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to fifty degrees below zero. No wonder his mind is warped.

Batman: Robin, warm up the Bat-spot analyzer while I take a sample of this affected cloth.

Batman: I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?

Chief O’Hara: When it comes to the human brain, we’re not equipped.
Robin: Holy atomic pile, Batman!

King Tut: [to Nefertiti] How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs.

Batman: Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.

Batman: I’ve just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.

Batman: Oh, Catwoman, Catwoman, will you never learn?

Robin: Under this garb, we’re perfectly ordinary Americans.

Robin: I couldn’t resist. You were taken in by her, but I’m too young for that sort of thing.

Robin: Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!

Narrator: Horrors! One lemon!

Robin: Holy oleo!

Catwoman: I didn’t know you could yodel!

Egghead: Woe is me, my criminal career is now egg-stinct!

Batman: Yes, citizen, you may return to your harpsichord.

Robin: We’re on official business!

Robin: Gosh, Batman, what are they dressed like *that* for?

Penguin: Well, I hope you have something special cooked up for that caped creep.

Batman: Let’s go, Robin. We’ve set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow.

Commissioner Gordon: Tanks in the street, a horse in my outer office… Has the whole world gone batty?

Shame: Your mother wore Army shoes.
Batman: Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable.

Shame: You big sissy, you couldn’t drive nails in a snow bank.
Batman: Why would I want to?

[Dr. Cassandra uses her alvino ray gun on Batman, Robin and Batgirl]
Batgirl: I feel like I’m getting flat!
Cabala: What a pity…

Robin: Gosh Batman, the nobility of the almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, it was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.

There are a lot of gems here, but my favorite has to be, “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!” Can it be long until Sony files a trademark for it? [Sources: USPTO, Gizmodo, IMDB]

The 50 best business names that are puns.

.. but they still can’t name to save their ass.

However, that is a nice pic of Anthony Shore on the hompage. And as hard as it is to believe ladies, he is straight and available (Post-ops considered).

Anth’s interests include phlebotomy, Harry Potter and calf massages (we forgot to ask which definition of “calf” he intended).

If in a vulnerable moment you do find yourself in bed with Landor on your next naming project, be safe, use a mental dam.

Should you wake up and realize you’ve been badly screwed by a “full service
agency”, there is always Plan B or Plan B.

But for those looking for a really spectacular hump, there is no substitute for Plan A.

The late great Mr. Hicks has something to say about the profession that we here at Igor ply as our trade on a daily basis.

As was his way, Bill is right on the money. In this clip he serves as the anti-Seth, which is always a good thing. Enjoy.

Via the Pittsburgh Business Times:

Dick Corp. restructuring brings new name, new owner into fold [sic]

Dick Corp., the region’s largest construction company, is planning a restructuring that will bring a new name to the family-owned firm and give a nonfamily member an ownership stake.
Instead of carrying the last name of co-chairmen David and Douglas Dick, whose family has owned Dick Corp. for more than 80 years, the firm is expected to introduce a new name, DCK Worldwide LLC, within the next few weeks, according to Nadine Lee, Dick Corp.’s marketing manager.

DCK stands for “Diversified Construction Knowledge,” according to an e-mail sent by a Dick Corp. executive to members of the local construction community. The e-mail also included an attachment with a new company logo. [entire article]

Nice spin, but “It’s a shorter Dick” would have sufficed.

In the United States, today is the day we celebrate the anniversary of the re-naming of the “Pluto Platter”, and love is in the air:

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) – Wham-O Inc. changed the name of the Pluto Platter to Frisbee 50 years ago Sunday, flinging a new word into popular culture that still conjures images of carefree fun in the park and breezy days at the beach. Walter (Fred) Morrison, inventor of the beloved disc, thought the new name would never fly. “I thought Frisbee was a terrible name,” Morrison, now 87, said. “I thought it was insane.” Frisbee instead became insanely popular, making the name as synonymous with flying discs as Google is with Internet searches and Kleenex is with tissue.

[More]

Tagline writing tips via today’s LA Times, and more tagline tips, from us.