I personally blame this cover art for a youthful indiscretion of mine at a Boy Scout Jamboree in the ’70s, but that’s a post for a different day. What say we send this to the real tea baggers, give them something to rant about?

Brokeback Mountain Prequel

As we gleefully pranced and flounced about, celebrating the 250 thousandth download of the Igor Naming Guide; we got a complaint. At 115 pages, the ultimate free, how-to resource for naming companies and products, had gotten too long.

Having nothing better to do, we responded. The naming guide is now available in two different lengths: soul-crushing (115 pages) and moderately-irritating (26 pages).

Either version of the naming guide can be downloaded here.

Download the app today at ComputerTan.com

Igor named the new in-flight wifi service gogo (case study here). Below, Richard Branson officially launches gogo service aboard Virgin America.

In what has become a recurring skit of rebranding theater, Microsoft is yet again relaunching its search service with a new name. This time around, until it is swept aside unceremoniously in a couple years, the name is Bing.

In case you need a reminder of the history of Microsoft search names, here it is: Originally called MSN Search, Microsoft rebranded their search service as Windows Live Search. Eventually, that clunker was shortened to the generic Live Search. Now, apparently realizing that “live” and “search” are both basic expectations all users have of any search engine, MS is changing the name yet again to Bing.

At least they have a plan now, right? They do, don’t they? Let’s check in with Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who had this to say about Bing in an interview today with Walt Mossberg at Walt’s All Things Digital conference, with my annotations in brackets:

Why Bing? Obviously we needed a better name [not great, just "better"], says Ballmer. “We needed a name that says this is all about search [if that's the case, doesn't 'Live Search' say that more directly than 'Bing'?].” Ballmer doesn’t seem to really know. “I’m not the creative guy, here…short mattered [short is the new (sch)long?]…people like to ‘verb up’ [every day before work, and then a quick shower]…works globally, doesn’t have negative connotations [other than this, anyway].” Walt: So everyone is going to walk out of here and say “Bing me”? [And 'Bing off' and 'Go Bing yourself'.] Clearly that’s Ballmer’s hope. “This is a very important step…it’s not a substitute for innovation, but we need to build brand equity in addition to technology equity.” [The eureka moment: brands matter! Take that Apple and Google -- we're onto your game!]

Was securing the trademark problematic? Ballmer says there were a few challenges [Bing & Bong?]. Bing Crosby, apparently, was not an issue [because he's dead?]. In any case, Ballmer seems to enjoy saying the word of his new search service. Maybe Microsoft should consider a new name for Zune. “Zing”?

…Walt circles back and notes that Ask spent an enormous amount of money on a rebranding campaign that ultimately failed despite some good buzz. How much money is Microsoft dedicating to the Bing branding campaign? “Lots,” says Ballmer. “When I approved the budget, I gulped, and a gulp in a $60 billion company, well, that’s a big gulp.” [Ahh, here's the strategy: name it anything and then dump giant Balmergulps full of cash into advertising it.]

Of course in the age of Googling, Twittering and Facebooking, everybody, even Microsoft, has realized the value of “verbing up” your name. (As an aside, can you imagine saying this: “Hey, you want to catch a movie tonight?” “Sorry, I’d love to, but I’ll be busy Microsofting all night long.” Maybe they can use that as a verb that means: “to reinstall Windows after the computer has crashed and burned”.)

Unfortunately, Microsoft seems to be grasping at straws with this one (or reaching for a bowl of bing cherries?), and when you consider that the word ping has evolved from a networking term to a more general usage meaning ‘communication’ (“I’ll ping you later with the directions to the party.”), it begins to seem like maybe, just maybe, the entire rationale for this new name was, simply, Bing is ‘ping’ with a ‘B’. If that strategy seems sickeningly familiar to you, perhaps it’s because we pointed out here a couple years ago when Microsoft launched Zune, named by Lexicon Branding, that no matter what Lexicon’s convoluted rationalization of the thinking behind the name Zune, it boiled down to Zune is ‘tune’ with a ‘Z’.

And for the original bit of rebranding humor, here’s Eric Idle reciting an old bit he did with Monty Python, Rock Notes, that neatly summarizes the process Microsoft went through to rename its search service…again:

Wharton at UPenn and USC Annenberg School for Communication both chime in on The Igor Naming Guide.

Via Wikipedia:

“Skippy” was first used as a trademark for peanut butter by the Rosefield Packing Co., Ltd., of Alameda, California, in 1933. Percy Crosby, creator of the “Skippy” comic strip, had the trademark invalidated in 1934, but Rosefield persisted after Crosby was committed to an insane asylum, and its successor companies, most recently Unilever, have been granted rights to the trademark over the objection of Crosby’s heirs. There has been much litigation on this point over the decades, some of which remains in progress.[1]

And from The Associated Press:

The Associated Press
Monday, April 5, 2004; 4:59 PM

ANNANDALE, Va. – For nearly 40 years Joan Crosby Tibbetts has waged a one-woman campaign against the makers of Skippy peanut butter, claiming the name was stolen from her father’s popular Depression-era comic strip.

On Monday, Tibbetts’ legal battle ended when the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear her suit against Skippy’s manufacturer, a division of the multinational conglomerate Unilever. But Tibbetts, 71, said she’ll continue her battle in the court of public opinion.

“This case involves a very important principle … ‘Thou shalt not steal,’” Tibbetts said Monday. “If this case is allowed to disappear and they succeed in shutting me up, who has won? These big corporations that believe they can just wear others down.”

Tibbetts’ crusade began in 1965 when the state of New York tasked her with administering her father Percy Crosby’s estate. She had not seen her father since 1939, when Crosby’s wife divorced him and took the children.

Crosby died in December 1964, after spending the last 18 years of his life in a mental hospital, his cartoon character by then largely forgotten…

Her research led her to the conclusion that the trademark for Skippy peanut butter had been improperly obtained by the Rosefield Packing Co.

She has waged her campaign ever since, a few episodes of success interspersed with endless legal wrangling and frustration.

In 1978 she won a $25,000 settlement from Bestfoods, which had purchased Skippy peanut butter from Rosefield. But Tibbetts said the settlement was with the understanding that Bestfoods would use the original Skippy character in its marketing, which never occurred.

It was also before Tibbetts found documents that she says prove Skippy’s manufacturers knowingly obtained their trademark by fraud and covered up the evidence. One document written by lawyers in 1954 as Bestfoods prepared to buy Rosefield suggested that Bestfoods’ chief counsel should deny knowledge that the Skippy mark had been fraudulently obtained.

Another victory for Tibbetts, of Annandale, Va., came in 2000 when a federal appeals court overturned a ruling that had barred Tibbetts from claiming on the Internet that she was the legitimate holder of the Skippy trademark.

That ruling, on First Amendment grounds, allows Tibbetts to continue her campaign, telling her story on the Internet and agitating for change and advocating a boycott of Unilever products. And now that her civil claim has been denied, she plans to petition the Justice Department for a criminal case.

She acknowledges crusade’s toll – financially, emotionally and physically. She also has been subject to nasty e-mail comments, including one writer who hoped she drowns in a giant vat of peanut butter.

A spokeswoman for Unilever, which has previously said Tibbetts’ claims are without merit, did not immediately respond to a call seeking comment.

And just so we don’t leave you with a good taste in your mouth, a Skippy peanut butter television commercial from the 1950′s (caution, the ad may be a tad bit sexist):

Via Marketing Charts:

The analysis points to the most serious peril for the following 12 brands which, 24/7 Wall Street says are most likely to disappear by the end of 2010:

1. Budget rental cars: Though Budget’s parent company currently says it will continue to operate both the Avis and Budget brands, increasing debt problems, a weakening travel industry and intensifying competition will nonetheless cause the demise of the Budget brand, 24/7 Wall Street predicts.

2. Borders books: Declining sales, heavy losses and pressure from competitors Barnes & Noble and Amazon – especially from new e-book readers – may prove too much for the brand when large amounts of debt come due in April 2010.

3. Crocs footwear: The decline in stock price from $72 per share in late 2007 to $2 today, ongoing financing issues, consumer belt-tightening and the end of a fad, leads to to 24/7 Wall Street’s declaration that “Crocs won’t make it through the year.”

4. Saturn vehicles: As General Motors faces bankruptcy, 24/7 Wall Street said it will almost certainly shutter the brand, whose sales dropped 59% in the first quarter of 2009.

5. Esquire Magazine : While the Esquire brand is plagued with ad revenue declines and intense competition in the crowded men’s-magazine market, parent company Hearst faces problems on both the newspaper and magazine fronts and will not hesitate to close down underperforming brands such as this one to bolster its overall position.

6. Old Navy apparel: 24/7 Wall Street said that parent company Gap – which currently markets the Gap, Old Navy and Banana Republic brands – is “a three-brand company living in a two-brand body” and cannot continue to sustain all three in the midst of steep, across-the-board sales declines. Old Navy, which is the weakest brand, will most likely not survive.

7. Architectural Digest Magazine: Amidst drastic cutbacks in high-end home sales and expensive redecorating, the once-healthy publication has lost 47% of its ad pages this year. Faced with other financial problems in its newspaper and magazine businesses, parent company Conde Nast will not be able to sustain the brand, according to 24/7 Wall Street.

8. Chrysler brand cars: Facing similar problems to GM as it teeters on the edge of bankruptcy, Chrylser LLC will not be able to support product design, manufacturing and marketing for a brand with many less sales that Dodge or Jeep as it gears up for restructuring.

9. Eddie Bauer: Faced with declining sales, a stock price under $1, major debt problems and a CCC- rating, analysts say its lack of differentiation in the marketplace could prove the last straw. 24/7 Wall Street said it could be out of business by mid 2009.

10. Palm: A brand that 24/7 Wall Street says has been “at death’s door for some time,” faces life-threatening competition from RIM and Apple, and can only survive in the unlikely event that it can expand the smartphone market by increasing demand for its “Pre.” Dismal financial results and association with Sprint, the already-#3 US wireless carrier, will spell complete disaster.

11. AIG: The once-venerable insurance giant’s highly publicized financial problems, involvement in the financial crisis and subsequent bailout and indebtedness to the federal government, make it the “one large brand in America which almost everyone would like to see disappear,” according to 24/7 Wall Street. Because many of the company’s operating units do not bear the AIG name, they will continue to do business as they distance themselves from the “toxic” AIG parent brand, which eventually will go away.

12. United Air Lines: As the travel industry faces unprecedented overcapacity in light of the recession, two of the large US carriers will soon need to merge to avoid bankruptcy. While it is not clear yet how such a consolidation will shake out, the stocks of UAL, American and US Air have plummeted. 24/7 Wall Street believes that United – the weakest of the carriers, soon faces a “merger,” which will most likely mean the end of the line for the brand.

Nokia’s Intrigue, the fifth Nokia phone named by Igor, debuted this week

There is an old Indian saying, “When life hands you cows, make teapee”.

Via The Times:

India to launch cow urine as soft drink

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India’s Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India’s biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called “gau jal”, or “cow water” – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched “very soon, maybe by the end of this year”.

“Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too,” he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. “Its USP will be that it’s going to be very healthy. It won’t be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins.”…

…He insisted, however, that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even with their enormous advertising budgets. “We’re going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind,” he said. “We may also think of exporting it.”

Via Dom Nozzi:

Ben & Jerry created “Yes Pecan!” ice cream flavor for Obama.
They then asked people to fill in the blank for the following:

For George W. they created “_________”.

Here are some of their favorite responses:

- Grape Depression
- Abu Grape
- Cluster Fudge
- Nut’n Accomplished
- Iraqi Road
- Chock ‘n Awe
- WireTapioca
- Impeach Cobbler
- Guantanmallow
- imPeachmint
- Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker… Swirl
- Heck of a Job, Brownie!
- Neocon Politan
- RockyRoad to Fascism
- The Reese’s-cession
- Cookie D’oh!
- The Housing Crunch
- Nougalar Proliferation
- Death by Chocolate… and Torture
- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
- “You’re Shitting In My Mouth And Calling It A” Sundae
- Credit Crunch
- Mission Pecanplished
- Country Pumpkin
- Chunky Monkey in Chief
- George Bush Doesn’t Care About Dark Chocolate
- WMDelicious
- Chocolate Chimp
- Bloody Sundae
- Caramel Preemptive Stripe
- I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands…with nuts

But who is Dom Nozzi? If it is true that you can judge a man by the company he keeps, then Dom can be summed up by this list of his friends as of 1966.

Of course, you may just want to judge him based on the fact that he maintains a list of his friends from kindergarten.

He is obviously quite mad.