DirecTV pumps up its premium channel.
Satcaster to enhance, rebrand 101 Network as Audience Network.

DirecTV is devoting more resources to building its own premium channel in a bid to better harness the platform provided by its 19 million-plus subscribers.

As of June 1, the satcaster’s in-house 101 Network will be rebranded as the Audience Network. DirecTV plans a big marketing push for the change, which dovetails with the mid-July launch of the new season of “Damages.”…Derek Chang, DirecTV’s exec veep of content strategy strategy and development, and Chris Long, senior veep of content strategy and development, told Variety they view Audience Network as an opportunity to program their own pay TV-style channel and make it a big selling point for DirecTV with subscribers.

“We call it giving subscribers a premium channel without having to pay a premium price,” Long said. “We see our wheelhouse as programming that is edgy and thought-provoking.”

The Audience Network at the DirecTV website.

Igor

The Dunder Mifflin logo sports an infinity symbol

Xfinity is meant to signal Comcast’s foray into the future of high tech possibilities, while at Dunder Mifflin, “Infinity” is the name of the internal initiative to bring technology to the failing paper company.

Why would the comedy writers of “The Office” chose the name “Dunder Mifflin Infinity” for the high tech effort? Because it is silly, obvious, pitiful and ridiculous, in keeping with ambiance of the show.

The name was such a hit that DunderMifflinInfinity.com is the show’s official fansite.

In the second episode of the fourth season titled “Dunder Mifflin Infinity”, regional manager Michael Scott best summed up the idea of “Infinity” (or Xfinity, for that matter):

“Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me, the choice is easy.”

“Comcast Xfinity. The possibilities are mindless”

Erotic Capital

Burger King has released a gut-busting seven-patty Whopper to mark the release of Windows 7. In what may be the most bizarre cross-promotional campaign ever, Microsoft linked up with the fast-food chain to create the ‘Windows 7 Whopper.’

I guess they figure anyone dumb enough to eat this will also buy Windows 7.

Tips for picking a brain:

1. Do not pick if the skin is too green–it’s not ripe yet.

2. The brain should be viscous and phlegmatic, yet hold up to a good thumping. Not too firm, not too soft.

3. The end that was twisted from the brain stem should be pliable when you poke your thumb through the outer membrane. If you can’t break the membrane with your fingernail, the brain was picked prematurely.

4. Smell is the most reliable indicator of freshness.

5. Have fun with it, but keep it platonic.

]]> http://www.snarkhunting.com/2009/08/free-company-and-product-naming/feed/ 1 http://www.snarkhunting.com/2009/07/chartis-helps-aig-hide-in-plain-sight/ http://www.snarkhunting.com/2009/07/chartis-helps-aig-hide-in-plain-sight/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:47:26 +0000 Steve http://www.snarkhunting.com/?p=1446 The viable bit of warm and snuggly insurance company AIG has been spun-off and dubbed “Chartis”. A bad name? Well, yes. But that is just what they needed. Sometimes a terrible name is the perfect name. In today’s Insurance Journal, a so-called naming expert spouts off:

According to AIG, Chartis derives from the Greek word for map, which the company said underscores the company’s 90-year history as a global insurance pioneer.

While AIG is apparently not alone in liking the name, is Chartis a name to remember?

Perhaps not, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

One naming expert says the new corporate moniker is neither memorable nor snappy — and in that regard the name Chartis is perfect for what AIG wants to do, which is to distance itself from its old company and not draw a lot of attention to itself while doing so.

“It’s the kind of name that’s in one ear and out the other,” said Steven Manning, managing director for Igor, a well-known international naming and branding agency based in San Francisco. “It blends into the woodwork, which is just what the assignment was.”

Even the logo, a compass, is predictable, Manning noted.

Manning likened the move to Enron’s adopting Prisma Energy and Phillip Morris choosing Altria.

“It’s about breaking the association with AIG, like going into witness protection,” he said.

Chartis Insurance is using www.chartisinsurance.com for its Web site. Chartis Group uses chartis.com and chartisgroup.com.

Chartis Insurance, headquartered in New York, of course, has quite a head start on other companies picking a name. It includes the profitable AIG/AIU Commercial Insurance, Foreign General Insurance and Private Client Group operations. It had a combined statutory surplus of $32.1 billion worldwide at year-end 2008 and more than 40 million clients around the globe.

AIG/AIU hopes that the financially strong Chartis will be recognized for its success apart from the AIG name, which has been tainted by actions out of its London financial products unit that eventually resulted in a U.S. federal government bailout. The P/C units now being branded as Chartis did not get into trouble and did not require bailout funds.

Having nothing better to do, we responded. The naming guide is now available in two different lengths: soul-crushing (115 pages) and moderately-irritating (26 pages).

Either version of the naming guide can be downloaded here.

In case you need a reminder of the history of Microsoft search names, here it is: Originally called MSN Search, Microsoft rebranded their search service as Windows Live Search. Eventually, that clunker was shortened to the generic Live Search. Now, apparently realizing that “live” and “search” are both basic expectations all users have of any search engine, MS is changing the name yet again to Bing.

At least they have a plan now, right? They do, don’t they? Let’s check in with Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who had this to say about Bing in an interview today with Walt Mossberg at Walt’s All Things Digital conference, with my annotations in brackets:

Why Bing? Obviously we needed a better name [not great, just "better"], says Ballmer. “We needed a name that says this is all about search [if that's the case, doesn't 'Live Search' say that more directly than 'Bing'?].” Ballmer doesn’t seem to really know. “I’m not the creative guy, here…short mattered [short is the new (sch)long?]…people like to ‘verb up’ [every day before work, and then a quick shower]…works globally, doesn’t have negative connotations [other than this, anyway].” Walt: So everyone is going to walk out of here and say “Bing me”? [And 'Bing off' and 'Go Bing yourself'.] Clearly that’s Ballmer’s hope. “This is a very important step…it’s not a substitute for innovation, but we need to build brand equity in addition to technology equity.” [The eureka moment: brands matter! Take that Apple and Google -- we're onto your game!]

Was securing the trademark problematic? Ballmer says there were a few challenges [Bing & Bong?]. Bing Crosby, apparently, was not an issue [because he's dead?]. In any case, Ballmer seems to enjoy saying the word of his new search service. Maybe Microsoft should consider a new name for Zune. “Zing”?

…Walt circles back and notes that Ask spent an enormous amount of money on a rebranding campaign that ultimately failed despite some good buzz. How much money is Microsoft dedicating to the Bing branding campaign? “Lots,” says Ballmer. “When I approved the budget, I gulped, and a gulp in a $60 billion company, well, that’s a big gulp.” [Ahh, here's the strategy: name it anything and then dump giant Balmergulps full of cash into advertising it.]

Of course in the age of Googling, Twittering and Facebooking, everybody, even Microsoft, has realized the value of “verbing up” your name. (As an aside, can you imagine saying this: “Hey, you want to catch a movie tonight?” “Sorry, I’d love to, but I’ll be busy Microsofting all night long.” Maybe they can use that as a verb that means: “to reinstall Windows after the computer has crashed and burned”.)

Unfortunately, Microsoft seems to be grasping at straws with this one (or reaching for a bowl of bing cherries?), and when you consider that the word ping has evolved from a networking term to a more general usage meaning ‘communication’ (“I’ll ping you later with the directions to the party.”), it begins to seem like maybe, just maybe, the entire rationale for this new name was, simply, Bing is ‘ping’ with a ‘B’. If that strategy seems sickeningly familiar to you, perhaps it’s because we pointed out here a couple years ago when Microsoft launched Zune, named by Lexicon Branding, that no matter what Lexicon’s convoluted rationalization of the thinking behind the name Zune, it boiled down to Zune is ‘tune’ with a ‘Z’.

And for the original bit of rebranding humor, here’s Eric Idle reciting an old bit he did with Monty Python, Rock Notes, that neatly summarizes the process Microsoft went through to rename its search service…again:

As reported in last week’s New York Times, the Sci Fi Channel, a division of NBC Universal, introduced its new name and identity, Syfy, at upfront presentations in New York. The announcement got a lot of attention, and although the New York Times story seemingly gave Landor credit for the work—we can’t take it—because we didn’t do it.

We had hoped the name SyFy was another in a series of mysterious incidents in which Landor seemingly takes pity on a client by doing as little harm as possible (except the financial bit).

For example, Landor was actually payed to perform the following name “changes”:

US Air –> US Airways

Federal Express –> FedEx

SciFi –> SyFy (or so it seemed)

Missing from the mea non-culpa on Landor’s blog is any mention of Landor’s involvement in SyFy’s new unimaginative, lesser tagline, “Imagine Greater”. That has to be the work of the beast.

Yes, the really funny part is that Landor now has a blog; kicking, hissing and spitting their way into the year 2009. Hey, maybe they just heard “that blogs are all the buzz these days”. Information flows slowly through those clogged arteries…

Let’s see how long they can keep it up. Should be gripping stuff.

The “Landor blog deathwatch” has begun.

UPDATE: MARCH 29:. The tale was propelled this weekend by outlets as disparate as The New York Post and The Huffington Post. Instead of just letting this story fade, Landor used its new found blogging power to keep the story alive. All they are accomplishing is driving home the fact that they were paid to rename the channel, but the client didn’t care for any of their ideas.

This sort of tin-eared-ham-handedness is exactly why we figured Landor never had a blog, and why it won’t last. Perhaps they should get a firm with communication skills to supervise their blog.