.. but they still can’t name to save their ass.

However, that is a nice pic of Anthony Shore on the hompage. And as hard as it is to believe ladies, he is straight and available (Post-ops considered).

Anth’s interests include phlebotomy, Harry Potter and calf massages (we forgot to ask which definition of “calf” he intended).

If in a vulnerable moment you do find yourself in bed with Landor on your next naming project, be safe, use a mental dam.

Should you wake up and realize you’ve been badly screwed by a “full service
agency”, there is always Plan B or Plan B.

But for those looking for a really spectacular hump, there is no substitute for Plan A.

Perhaps man can live on bread alone. Or maybe McDonalds is just trying to redefine “meat market”.

Here is a snap of their latest in-store McMuffin campaign. We are into just about anything here at Igor, or so we thought.

This one is just a bit too kinky for even us — it’s strictly “Little Debbie” territory.

…with dead mollusk secretions. How do you improve on the taste of Bud? Easy, just add clam sweat, tomato juice and lime. If you’ve ever wondered what carbonated turtle blood tastes like, wonder no more.

Funny bit is, it’s not really a brand dilution. The taste of this swill is pretty much in keeping with Budweiser’s established sensibilities.

It’s been dubbed “Chelada”, and for calorie conscious bottom dwellers, it comes in “light” as well.

Health Savings Account HSA

Or perhaps reading this blog has created in you a powerful hunger for words that read good.

Either way, our OLD, OLD friend Yannick Murphy will be reading from her latest novel, SIGNED, MATA HARI, this coming Wednesday night. The particulars:

Wednesday, November 14th 8:15 pm
Columbia University
Rm 413 Dodge Hall

Of special interest is that she will be reading with Diane Williams.

Last time these two shared the stage a really cool cat fight ensued.

Fingers crossed.

Via the Pittsburgh Business Times:

Dick Corp. restructuring brings new name, new owner into fold [sic]

Dick Corp., the region’s largest construction company, is planning a restructuring that will bring a new name to the family-owned firm and give a nonfamily member an ownership stake.
Instead of carrying the last name of co-chairmen David and Douglas Dick, whose family has owned Dick Corp. for more than 80 years, the firm is expected to introduce a new name, DCK Worldwide LLC, within the next few weeks, according to Nadine Lee, Dick Corp.’s marketing manager.

DCK stands for “Diversified Construction Knowledge,” according to an e-mail sent by a Dick Corp. executive to members of the local construction community. The e-mail also included an attachment with a new company logo. [entire article]

Nice spin, but “It’s a shorter Dick” would have sufficed.

Behold the companies in our very own industry, naming company names in the company of the names of other naming company names.

Are we biased in our opinion? Absolutely. We believe strongly that the name a naming company names itself is a clue to the kinds of company names they believe in. And if a naming company cannot manage to give itself a distinctive, memorable name that sets itself apart from the slew of competitors you see here, a company name that can evolve into a strong brand within the industry and come to represent more than just the goods and services being offered, how can they possibly convince others that what they fail to do in their own company name they can somehow magically do for their clients?

So a call to arms is in order: Namers, name thyself well! Because you’ve got company.

Read more: China

The U.S. Department of Defense’s aptly named, “Integrated Defense Acquisition, Technology & Logistics Life Cycle Management Framework” (click to engorge):

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GAP announced today that their latest bad idea, F.A.T., is fat no more. Here was our take on GAP’s “fourth brand” (get it?), when it was announced two years ago:

Forth & Towne is the name of Gap’s new store for women over 35. What aspiration is the name tapping into for women in this middle-age demographic? We don’t know. But it’s worth noting that they chose to present the name with an ampersand instead of spelling it out as pronounced, a la Forth And Towne. Why is anybody’s guess.

In the article, Gap President Paul Pressler weighed-in, calling F.A.T. a “sizable opportunity”.

Oy. We love the smell of hubris in the morning.

Lone Landor naphephiliac Anthony Shore gets snarky on a name, and deservedly so. From the San Francisco Chronicle:

A camel named Jake wore a bush hat with the company logo. Five elephants formed a reception committee. A sea lion called Odie reclined in a golf cart. The scene in Vallejo on Wednesday morning looked like a cross between Noah’s Ark and “Jurassic Park.”

It wasn’t. Instead, the occasion was a rebranding ritual: Marine World is now Discovery Kingdom…

…”It sounds like the bastard offspring of the Discovery Channel and the Magic Kingdom,” said Anthony Shore, creative director of naming and writing at Landor Associates, a strategic branding and design consultancy in San Francisco.

“Discovery is a word that’s used a lot in the world of entertainment and theme parks, and kingdom is also hardly unique in the category,” Shore said. “They now have their work cut out for them — to help create more distinction from all of those other discovery brands.”

Says Blandor the Imponderable: “My Willy hasn’t been this free in decades! Alas, I feel the pounding hooves of our PR Emergency Response Team in the corridor. Twas a brief dalliance… “

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Thanks to Tom Whitwell of The Times of London, who waved this one under our noses first thing in the morning. Tom e-mails:

If you’re going to have a brand name like Eat Fussy, you have to be very careful which fonts you use.

Lower case was probably a good call…

We’re sold. And after you meet Annabel Karmel, you will be too.

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