America Is F*cked…….(Graphically at least) from Jess Gibson on Vimeo.

Activia yogurt’s sales pitch:

Why should I Switch to Activia? If you have ever suffered from even occasional irregularity, then you should try Activia. Only delicious Activia has the exclusive culture Bifidus Regularis and is clinically proven to help with slow intestinal transit when eaten every day for two weeks, as part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle.

That’s the pitch; Activa relieves constipation in only two weeks…only two weeks… I’ll pass. Give me the Fleet with real blueberries, An Enema of the People. (sorry Henrik).

Hat tip to Mike Sobola, who is not in North Carolina, but only by the thinnest of margins.

Via Wikipedia:

“Skippy” was first used as a trademark for peanut butter by the Rosefield Packing Co., Ltd., of Alameda, California, in 1933. Percy Crosby, creator of the “Skippy” comic strip, had the trademark invalidated in 1934, but Rosefield persisted after Crosby was committed to an insane asylum, and its successor companies, most recently Unilever, have been granted rights to the trademark over the objection of Crosby’s heirs. There has been much litigation on this point over the decades, some of which remains in progress.[1]

And from The Associated Press:

The Associated Press
Monday, April 5, 2004; 4:59 PM

ANNANDALE, Va. – For nearly 40 years Joan Crosby Tibbetts has waged a one-woman campaign against the makers of Skippy peanut butter, claiming the name was stolen from her father’s popular Depression-era comic strip.

On Monday, Tibbetts’ legal battle ended when the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear her suit against Skippy’s manufacturer, a division of the multinational conglomerate Unilever. But Tibbetts, 71, said she’ll continue her battle in the court of public opinion.

“This case involves a very important principle … ‘Thou shalt not steal,’” Tibbetts said Monday. “If this case is allowed to disappear and they succeed in shutting me up, who has won? These big corporations that believe they can just wear others down.”

Tibbetts’ crusade began in 1965 when the state of New York tasked her with administering her father Percy Crosby’s estate. She had not seen her father since 1939, when Crosby’s wife divorced him and took the children.

Crosby died in December 1964, after spending the last 18 years of his life in a mental hospital, his cartoon character by then largely forgotten…

Her research led her to the conclusion that the trademark for Skippy peanut butter had been improperly obtained by the Rosefield Packing Co.

She has waged her campaign ever since, a few episodes of success interspersed with endless legal wrangling and frustration.

In 1978 she won a $25,000 settlement from Bestfoods, which had purchased Skippy peanut butter from Rosefield. But Tibbetts said the settlement was with the understanding that Bestfoods would use the original Skippy character in its marketing, which never occurred.

It was also before Tibbetts found documents that she says prove Skippy’s manufacturers knowingly obtained their trademark by fraud and covered up the evidence. One document written by lawyers in 1954 as Bestfoods prepared to buy Rosefield suggested that Bestfoods’ chief counsel should deny knowledge that the Skippy mark had been fraudulently obtained.

Another victory for Tibbetts, of Annandale, Va., came in 2000 when a federal appeals court overturned a ruling that had barred Tibbetts from claiming on the Internet that she was the legitimate holder of the Skippy trademark.

That ruling, on First Amendment grounds, allows Tibbetts to continue her campaign, telling her story on the Internet and agitating for change and advocating a boycott of Unilever products. And now that her civil claim has been denied, she plans to petition the Justice Department for a criminal case.

She acknowledges crusade’s toll – financially, emotionally and physically. She also has been subject to nasty e-mail comments, including one writer who hoped she drowns in a giant vat of peanut butter.

A spokeswoman for Unilever, which has previously said Tibbetts’ claims are without merit, did not immediately respond to a call seeking comment.

And just so we don’t leave you with a good taste in your mouth, a Skippy peanut butter television commercial from the 1950′s (caution, the ad may be a tad bit sexist):

Starbucks “Pairings” promotion seems straight forward at first glance. In this poster, snapped in Sausalito this morning, the deal is latte & oatmeal:

But the fine print could cause a panic: “*While supplies last”

WTF?

…you aren’t in either of these videos. Both of these jingles are brand buiding tools for the same product. Which is more effective?

Frankly, I don’t believe the first video is actually a period piece circa 1983. The song just has too many tongue-in-cheek lines. I think it is a parody, made this year.

The 50 best business names that are puns.

Brandweek has published their ranking of The Top 2000 American Superbrands, and it’s a real head-scratcher. Relying on a suspect “methodology” that is based on many factors, but highly weighted toward ad spending, here are their Top 5 American Superbrands:

1. AT&T
2. McDonalds
3. Verizon
4. Macy’s
5. Sprint

The problem is, they are trying to quantify what a “Superbrand” is, and their numbers may add up, but not to anything that a consumer would recognize. This is the same fallacy that leads focus-group decision making toward weak names that have the ability to excite statisticians, but not people. For instance, if you look just at press, word-of-mouth buzz, overflowing retail stores, people lining up to buy their products, advertising and general cultural ubiquity, most people would agree that Apple should probably score very highly on a  list of Superbrands. That, however, is not the case here.

The only two Apple products in the Top 100 are “Apple Macintosh Computer Systems” at number 86, and “Apple iPod Digital Audio Player-Recorder” at number 91. No clear reason why other entries are for a company, while for Apple they are for individual products — certainly “Apple” as a company entity would rank pretty highly on a rational list of top U.S. and international brands. Not only that, but some of the “Superbrands” that outrank Apple include, “Chevrolet Silverado Trucks” (32) (maybe Brandweek intends “Superbrand” to be understood in the same sense that Superfund is), “Empire Today Home Repair Services” (55), E-Surance Insurance-Auto (66), and in a head-to-head deathmatch of the brand titans, PeoplePC Website Internet Service Provider (90)!

It’s not like we’re trying to fluff up Apple, or join the iBandwagon, or drink their KoolAid, but whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, you have to admit that Apple is a very powerful brand, and any list of “Superbrands” that puts them well behind the Chevy Silverado, a dinosaur facing extinction, and “Empire Today Home Repair Services,” makes you wonder if the statisticians who figured all this out might be the same ones who recently lost their jobs in the financial sector after failing to notice the tsubprime tsunami.

San Francisco (our fair city) has placed an initiative on this November’s ballot, to name a sewage facility.

Via AP:

SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) — A measure seeking to commemorate President Bush’s years in office by slapping his name on a San Francisco sewage plant has qualified for the November ballot.

The measure certified Thursday would rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.

Supporters say the idea is to commemorate the mess they claim Bush has left behind by actions such as the war in Iraq.

The marketing geniuses at Neutrogena, realizing how crowded the women’s skin care product sector is, have started selling vibrators. But not just any vibrator, a vibrator that a woman can, with head held high, take through airport security, buy at the drugstore, and leave in plain sight for the kids to find. Brilliant.

It’s the Neutrogena Wave, a sex toy with plausible deniability built-in.

Here’s to wiggle room:

Trying to beat the summer heat, but can’t bring yourself to choke down another cup of soft serve? Fear not, these intrepid entrepreneurs are at your rescue:

We don’t know whose brain bastard this ad campaign is, but with classic copy such as, “a neat and convenient way to store your poop for the trip home”, our best guess would be Ogilvy. Nigel?

“Unattended poop” indeed.

In today’s Charlotte Observer, some jackass spouts off on the product name “Hand-spun milkshake”.