Paul Revere and the Raiders schilling for the ‘69 Pontiac GTO Judge. The “Judge” name came from the popularity of “Here comes da judge!”, a cultural catch phrase made popular on “Laugh-In”.

Via the Daily Mail:

Burger King has released a gut-busting seven-patty Whopper to mark the release of Windows 7. In what may be the most bizarre cross-promotional campaign ever, Microsoft linked up with the fast-food chain to create the ‘Windows 7 Whopper.’

I guess they figure anyone dumb enough to eat this will also buy Windows 7.

For those of us who toil in a nerdly field, the presence of a maverick who stomps on the terra, chokes every bead of bile from life’s clogged ducts, and then vaporizes in a defiant, atavistic lunge, elevates us all. In the Name Game, that man was John Smart of Interbrand.

This month marks the eleventh anniversary of Agent Smart’s death, and consequently the ninth anniversary of when “schwing” stopped being associated with namers. He was our Austin Powers, our Keith Richards, our Richard Branson. Most of the official record seems to have disappeared from the Web. We found only a brief account of his death:

John Smart, unarmed, shot to death on Oct. 6, 1998 when police fired at least 13 rounds into his Mercedes convertible.

That was a late model Mercedes convertible. According to published reports at the time, he was stopped in San Francisco (our fair city) for suspicion of either soliciting a prostitute or drugs or both. Police said that Smart tried to run them down, at which point his legend was eternalized. For a full, rollicking year afterwards, namers of every ilk had to add extra memory to their Palm Pilots just to handle the overflow from their social calendars.

But that equity has faded, and it’s time for another high-ranking naming superstar from a big San Francisco shop to go out in a blaze of glory. We’d happily volunteer, if we thought Igor would rate better than a small mention on page eight of the San Francisco Chronicle. No, it must be someone from a page one agency, an agency like Landor. Any takers? Mr. Wrench?

I have had the experience of the blue robot more times than I want to know. Although usually I just think what he is saying.

Usually.

One of the funniest aspects of alleged naming & branding firm Landor, is the ridiculous rationale they cite for the work they produce. Oftentimes they will, with capricious authority, justify a design based on what certain colors “mean” or “communicate”. These “reasons” become all the more comical when parroted by the officers of their most recent victim.

Landor’s latest for a financial company is a re-worked logo. Fiserve’s Chief Executive Jeffery Yabuki, performs the squawk of shame for the Journal Sentinel:

The new logo, which is the word fiserv. – with a period – is orange because it’s different from the common industry logo color of blue and “has a certain heat and energy to it, but not the kind of danger you perceive when you see red,” Yabuki said.

No red menace here.

Red bad. Red is color of Danger. Danger bad for financial company image.

Unless of course you can sell it to another financial client. From the bowels of the Landor site:

Landor created an identity and retail space for HSBC Direct. The use of white communicates the simplicity of the brand, while red projects a contemporary attitude.

Don't be alarmed, it's just HSBC Direct's Landorian luminosity.

Full Case study

Landor founder, Walter Landor gazing inappropriately at his half-son, Blandor.

Says Blandor the Imponderable: “I fondly recall Poppy and I attending the semi-annual wisdom tooth convention. As we sat on our haunches, grooming each other and eating our sack lunch of turkey biscotti and marshmallow toast, we would randomly jump up and shout, “Wottle up the bull throttle!”. We would then travel the 3 hours home, in complete silence, until our arrival at Mandible Station.”

More on the misspent journey of Blandor’s life.

This commercial is currently running on TV. Note the changing shapes of the ummmm,…..of the shrubs.

The U.K. version is less classy. The tulip reference is just pandering.

Do we really have to explain why this is a bad idea? We didn’t think so.

Download the app today at ComputerTan.com

America Is F*cked…….(Graphically at least) from Jess Gibson on Vimeo.

Activia yogurt’s sales pitch:

Why should I Switch to Activia? If you have ever suffered from even occasional irregularity, then you should try Activia. Only delicious Activia has the exclusive culture Bifidus Regularis and is clinically proven to help with slow intestinal transit when eaten every day for two weeks, as part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle.

That’s the pitch; Activa relieves constipation in only two weeks…only two weeks… I’ll pass. Give me the Fleet with real blueberries, An Enema of the People. (sorry Henrik).

Hat tip to Mike Sobola, who is not in North Carolina, but only by the thinnest of margins.

Via Wikipedia:

“Skippy” was first used as a trademark for peanut butter by the Rosefield Packing Co., Ltd., of Alameda, California, in 1933. Percy Crosby, creator of the “Skippy” comic strip, had the trademark invalidated in 1934, but Rosefield persisted after Crosby was committed to an insane asylum, and its successor companies, most recently Unilever, have been granted rights to the trademark over the objection of Crosby’s heirs. There has been much litigation on this point over the decades, some of which remains in progress.[1]

And from The Associated Press:

The Associated Press
Monday, April 5, 2004; 4:59 PM

ANNANDALE, Va. – For nearly 40 years Joan Crosby Tibbetts has waged a one-woman campaign against the makers of Skippy peanut butter, claiming the name was stolen from her father’s popular Depression-era comic strip.

On Monday, Tibbetts’ legal battle ended when the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear her suit against Skippy’s manufacturer, a division of the multinational conglomerate Unilever. But Tibbetts, 71, said she’ll continue her battle in the court of public opinion.

“This case involves a very important principle … ‘Thou shalt not steal,’” Tibbetts said Monday. “If this case is allowed to disappear and they succeed in shutting me up, who has won? These big corporations that believe they can just wear others down.”

Tibbetts’ crusade began in 1965 when the state of New York tasked her with administering her father Percy Crosby’s estate. She had not seen her father since 1939, when Crosby’s wife divorced him and took the children.

Crosby died in December 1964, after spending the last 18 years of his life in a mental hospital, his cartoon character by then largely forgotten…

Her research led her to the conclusion that the trademark for Skippy peanut butter had been improperly obtained by the Rosefield Packing Co.

She has waged her campaign ever since, a few episodes of success interspersed with endless legal wrangling and frustration.

In 1978 she won a $25,000 settlement from Bestfoods, which had purchased Skippy peanut butter from Rosefield. But Tibbetts said the settlement was with the understanding that Bestfoods would use the original Skippy character in its marketing, which never occurred.

It was also before Tibbetts found documents that she says prove Skippy’s manufacturers knowingly obtained their trademark by fraud and covered up the evidence. One document written by lawyers in 1954 as Bestfoods prepared to buy Rosefield suggested that Bestfoods’ chief counsel should deny knowledge that the Skippy mark had been fraudulently obtained.

Another victory for Tibbetts, of Annandale, Va., came in 2000 when a federal appeals court overturned a ruling that had barred Tibbetts from claiming on the Internet that she was the legitimate holder of the Skippy trademark.

That ruling, on First Amendment grounds, allows Tibbetts to continue her campaign, telling her story on the Internet and agitating for change and advocating a boycott of Unilever products. And now that her civil claim has been denied, she plans to petition the Justice Department for a criminal case.

She acknowledges crusade’s toll – financially, emotionally and physically. She also has been subject to nasty e-mail comments, including one writer who hoped she drowns in a giant vat of peanut butter.

A spokeswoman for Unilever, which has previously said Tibbetts’ claims are without merit, did not immediately respond to a call seeking comment.

And just so we don’t leave you with a good taste in your mouth, a Skippy peanut butter television commercial from the 1950’s (caution, the ad may be a tad bit sexist):