As if the naming industry wasn’t already overflowing with hot air, now there’s more on the way: Tropical Storm Igor forms over eastern Atlantic. Here is a high-tech graphic from the National Hurricane Center:
Now we just have to hope that Igor (2010 Hurricane Edition), doesn’t go on a destructive rampage like his cousin Katrina did five years ago, or our name is mud. On the other hand…more name recognition!
Steve Jobs just announced at Apple’s Worldwide Developer Conference that they are dropping “phone” from the name “iPhoneOS” to become, simply, “iOS”. This is a smart move.
Uh oh. Seems like Cisco Systems runs a big chuck of the Internet on some thing called iOS. It’s deja vu all over again: you may recall back in 2007 when the iPhone was announced that Cisco owned the trademark for the name “iPhone”. Once again, Apple rolls out the strategy of “name it what we want, get legal to make it happen later”. Cool. If every company operated like this, it would make the job of naming companies much, much easier. And put more lawyers to work, recharging our economy in the process.
UPDATE: Kudos to Apple for making a legal deal with Cisco this time before launching the product. Says Cisco: “Cisco has agreed to license the iOS trademark to Apple for use as the name of Apple’s operating system for iPhone, iPod touch and iPad. The license is for use of the trademark only and not for any technology.”
Working on various healthcare projects lately got us thinking about the language used in healthcare patents:
Apparently, we are all becoming optimized healthcare reception systems.
Wordlab has a great collection of free name generators that can help you get started if you are trying to name a company, product or service yourself:
Wordlab’s Business Name Generator – 7,223,742 potential company, product or domain names to chose from.
Name Builder – Over 340,000 possible combinations — try it for a company name, rock band, album title, product name, book of poetry.
Restaurant / Bar Name Generator – Over 100,000 potential names for your restaurant, bar, pizzaria, taco stand, tavern, pub, cafe, bagel shop, etc.
Band Name Generator – 4193 band names direct from Wordlab’s personal collection.
Drug-O-Matic – Over 9.3 million potential drug names lurking within this little apothecary’s monster.
Character Name Generator – If you need to name any kind of character, human or otherwise, this is the mother lode. With 379,175,790 potential names, mostly well off the beaten track, you can populate an entire country with uniquely named characters.
Morpheme Machine – If mashing morphemes is your thing (attention Landor!), here are over 151,000 chunks of lingo chum to chew on.
The ACME Namemaker – And finally, when you don’t want to stand out from the crowd, here are over 26,000 ways to blend in quite nicely. I think this one must be the most popular with Igor’s competitors.
Happy naming!
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. Beatle Walruses aside, is there really that much difference between “i” and “we”? There is if the next three letters are “pad”. Unless you died over 3 months ago, you are aware of Apple’s newly launched iPad. Now a German company with the delightfully apropos and Onion-like name Neofonie (“New Phony”) will be launching in June an iPad competitor tablet computer called…(pay attention trademark attorneys)… WePad! As in, “We have a Pad too.” Yep, iPad, meet WePad:
Geek.com picks up the story:
It’s everything the iPad was meant to be, according to German-based Neofonie GmbH that designed the device. WePad sports a large 11.6-inch screen and is fitted with a webcam and two USB ports, the two features sadly missing from Apple’s device. WePad runs Intel’s chip and a Linux software that supports both Flash content and Android apps. It’ll come preloaded with an open-sourced office productivity suite, too.
In case you’re wondering, yes – WePad will also do digital magazines. Neofonie teamed up with Europe’s largest magazine publisher Gruner+Jahr that promised to bring its flagship magazine Stern on the WePad.
It gets even better, as the company puts its indelible spin in the power of “We” (perhaps Nintendo might like to jump in here and Wii all over Neofonie as well), which is just so much more awesome than “I” (or “i”):
And if all of that wasn’t enough, Neofonie is dragging the Cupertino rival through the mud with its unapologetic marketing talk. For example, here’s how they defend the name choice:
Some people seem to think life is all about the I, and the Me, Me, Me. We beg to differ. To us, the power of many beats the power of one.
“Some people”, indeed. Unfortunately for Neofonie, “some people” also have an army of lawyers standing by to slice the “Pad” right off of their “We”. So if Apple sucessfully keeps them from using “Pad”, and Nintendo jumps in and says they can’t use “We”, they might be left with WePad, or eeP, at least until Asus’s legal eagles claim a risk of confusion with their Eee PC, and take away their “e”.
I think this padacious upstart should just go with truth in advertising, and call it the Neofonie. Ask any “Expert, texpert”. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all Neofonie… And here are some major recently-granted Apple iPad patents that Neofonie would do well not to tread on:
More: Here are 82,212 ‘tablet computer’ related patents for your viewing pleasure.
On a slow day in hell, you can keep your home fires burning by getting all self-reflexive. Hence the ever-popular Company Names of Naming Companies name taxonomy.
Today’s exercise in self-reflexivity: Patent searching for “patent search” patents. Here’s a few to whet your whistle, from IP.com’s cool new Global Patent Search engine:
OK, that’s enough fun for one night. Go out and try it yourself. While you’re at it, see if anyone has a patent already for the latest new invention you’ve been tinkering with in the basement.
Our sister site Wordlab, created by one of Igor’s founders (me), just re-launched today in a big way. I completely re-designed and re-coded the site, changing it 100% from the old Wordlab that had remained largely unchanged since it launched in 1998.
The new Wordlab is a full-fledged social network for naming and wordplay, collaboration and creative thinking. As such it is structured a bit differently than what you are used to if you were a user of the old Wordlab and its Wordboard forum, but the opportunities for interaction and collaboration are much greater and more powerful.
Check it out, sign up for a free membership, and join in the fun, either as someone looking for naming help, someone who can lend suggestions and advice to other users, or both.
In what has become a recurring skit of rebranding theater, Microsoft is yet again relaunching its search service with a new name. This time around, until it is swept aside unceremoniously in a couple years, the name is Bing.
In case you need a reminder of the history of Microsoft search names, here it is: Originally called MSN Search, Microsoft rebranded their search service as Windows Live Search. Eventually, that clunker was shortened to the generic Live Search. Now, apparently realizing that “live” and “search” are both basic expectations all users have of any search engine, MS is changing the name yet again to Bing.
At least they have a plan now, right? They do, don’t they? Let’s check in with Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who had this to say about Bing in an interview today with Walt Mossberg at Walt’s All Things Digital conference, with my annotations in brackets:
Why Bing? Obviously we needed a better name [not great, just "better"], says Ballmer. “We needed a name that says this is all about search [if that's the case, doesn't 'Live Search' say that more directly than 'Bing'?].” Ballmer doesn’t seem to really know. “I’m not the creative guy, here…short mattered [short is the new (sch)long?]…people like to ‘verb up’ [every day before work, and then a quick shower]…works globally, doesn’t have negative connotations [other than this, anyway].” Walt: So everyone is going to walk out of here and say “Bing me”? [And 'Bing off' and 'Go Bing yourself'.] Clearly that’s Ballmer’s hope. “This is a very important step…it’s not a substitute for innovation, but we need to build brand equity in addition to technology equity.” [The eureka moment: brands matter! Take that Apple and Google -- we're onto your game!]
Was securing the trademark problematic? Ballmer says there were a few challenges [Bing & Bong?]. Bing Crosby, apparently, was not an issue [because he's dead?]. In any case, Ballmer seems to enjoy saying the word of his new search service. Maybe Microsoft should consider a new name for Zune. “Zing”?
…Walt circles back and notes that Ask spent an enormous amount of money on a rebranding campaign that ultimately failed despite some good buzz. How much money is Microsoft dedicating to the Bing branding campaign? “Lots,” says Ballmer. “When I approved the budget, I gulped, and a gulp in a $60 billion company, well, that’s a big gulp.” [Ahh, here's the strategy: name it anything and then dump giant Balmergulps full of cash into advertising it.]
Of course in the age of Googling, Twittering and Facebooking, everybody, even Microsoft, has realized the value of “verbing up” your name. (As an aside, can you imagine saying this: “Hey, you want to catch a movie tonight?” “Sorry, I’d love to, but I’ll be busy Microsofting all night long.” Maybe they can use that as a verb that means: “to reinstall Windows after the computer has crashed and burned”.)
Unfortunately, Microsoft seems to be grasping at straws with this one (or reaching for a bowl of bing cherries?), and when you consider that the word ping has evolved from a networking term to a more general usage meaning ‘communication’ (“I’ll ping you later with the directions to the party.”), it begins to seem like maybe, just maybe, the entire rationale for this new name was, simply, Bing is ‘ping’ with a ‘B’. If that strategy seems sickeningly familiar to you, perhaps it’s because we pointed out here a couple years ago when Microsoft launched Zune, named by Lexicon Branding, that no matter what Lexicon’s convoluted rationalization of the thinking behind the name Zune, it boiled down to Zune is ‘tune’ with a ‘Z’.
And for the original bit of rebranding humor, here’s Eric Idle reciting an old bit he did with Monty Python, Rock Notes, that neatly summarizes the process Microsoft went through to rename its search service…again:
Clever title, huh? Just Snark Hunting making a lame joke out of a cheesy pun? If only. Incredibly, the title of this post is, verbatim, an actual recent trademark filing by Sony! Here are the Goods & Services listed for this mark on the USPTO:
Video game software; Software for computer games; Optical disc recorded video game software; Optical disc recorded computer game software; Optical disc recorded game programs for hand-held typed electronic games with liquid crystal display
Gizmodo, which alerted us to this strange trademark filing, speculates on what it could mean:
Oh, what could it be? It sounds like it could be a trademark for the EULA or privacy section of DC Universe Online, the Sony-developed DC Comics MMORPG. Or something related to that game. How else is Sony thinking it can register the name Badman in any kind of trademark filing and get away with it?
That’s the gazillion dollar question: how can Sony get a trademark for “Badman” in a tagline that plays off the kind of Batman-speak bandied about in the old Batman TV series? Seems like whoever owns the rights to Batman wouldn’t take too kindly to this. Could this be the Joker’s dark wit? Maybe IP-Caped-Crusader Marty Schwimmer can get to the bottom of this.
Holy slap in the farce: This strange turn of events inspired me to look-up some of those phrases from the old show, and it’s amazing how downright wacky they are. Here is a sample to get your Dada groove on:
Penguin: Here comes the bride, all bagged and tied!
Riddler: Batgirls wilt just as quickly as other women!
Robin: Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!
Batman: I’m just going to hang around the bar. I don’t want to look conspicuous.
Robin: Holy bill of rights, Batman!
Robin: Holy haberdashery, Batman!
King Tut: If the caped crumb is here, the cowled creep can’t be far behind.
Commissioner Gordon: You know I’m violently opposed to police brutality.
Penguin [Organizing his election]: Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people.
Catwoman: I’m not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!
Robin: The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it’s almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.
Robin [Figuring out a riddle]: The opposite of a girl is a boy!
Batman: Poor devil. Forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to fifty degrees below zero. No wonder his mind is warped.
Batman: Robin, warm up the Bat-spot analyzer while I take a sample of this affected cloth.
Batman: I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?
Chief O’Hara: When it comes to the human brain, we’re not equipped.
Robin: Holy atomic pile, Batman!King Tut: [to Nefertiti] How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs.
Batman: Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.
Batman: I’ve just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.
Batman: Oh, Catwoman, Catwoman, will you never learn?
Robin: Under this garb, we’re perfectly ordinary Americans.
Robin: I couldn’t resist. You were taken in by her, but I’m too young for that sort of thing.
Robin: Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!
Narrator: Horrors! One lemon!
Robin: Holy oleo!
Catwoman: I didn’t know you could yodel!
Egghead: Woe is me, my criminal career is now egg-stinct!
Batman: Yes, citizen, you may return to your harpsichord.
Robin: We’re on official business!
Robin: Gosh, Batman, what are they dressed like *that* for?
Penguin: Well, I hope you have something special cooked up for that caped creep.
Batman: Let’s go, Robin. We’ve set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow.
Commissioner Gordon: Tanks in the street, a horse in my outer office… Has the whole world gone batty?
Shame: Your mother wore Army shoes.
Batman: Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable.Shame: You big sissy, you couldn’t drive nails in a snow bank.
Batman: Why would I want to?[Dr. Cassandra uses her alvino ray gun on Batman, Robin and Batgirl]
Batgirl: I feel like I’m getting flat!
Cabala: What a pity…Robin: Gosh Batman, the nobility of the almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, it was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.
There are a lot of gems here, but my favorite has to be, “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!” Can it be long until Sony files a trademark for it? [Sources: USPTO, Gizmodo, IMDB]
Many consider No Child Left Behind to be “the most negative brand in America.” Well, perhaps second most negative, after “Bush/Cheney”. So with sanity restored to the White House, it’s time to change this law, beginning with the changing of its Orwellian name.
According to a story in today’s New York Times, Rename Law? No Wisecrack Is Left Behind, the new Education Secretary, Arne Duncan, says of the despised Act, “Let’s rebrand it,” and “give it a new name.” The article provides a nice summary on how this wretched Act got its name (Bush trademark infringement, natch), and new efforts to change the Act and its name.
Over on the Eduwonk.com blog, you can compete in a rename-the-law contest and offer your own serious or snarky suggestions. Some examples of the latter include:
For the sake of simplicity, I like the entry by Joe Williams: “It should be named Caitlin. Everybody seems to be naming things Caitlin these days. Or Caleb.” Here here!
Sprint and Clearwire closed their $14.5 billion WiMax joint venture last Friday. Sprint is contributing wireless airwaves to the venture, but not the impossible to say brand name they previously came up with: Xohm.
The new name for this next-generation (4G) nationwide mobile broadband network, aka WiMax, is much clearer and to the point than Xohm: Clear. The company behind it will retain the Clearwire name.
Apparently, Xohm is NOT where the heart is.
Via Reuters.
Brandweek has published their ranking of The Top 2000 American Superbrands, and it’s a real head-scratcher. Relying on a suspect “methodology” that is based on many factors, but highly weighted toward ad spending, here are their Top 5 American Superbrands:
The problem is, they are trying to quantify what a “Superbrand” is, and their numbers may add up, but not to anything that a consumer would recognize. This is the same fallacy that leads focus-group decision making toward weak names that have the ability to excite statisticians, but not people. For instance, if you look just at press, word-of-mouth buzz, overflowing retail stores, people lining up to buy their products, advertising and general cultural ubiquity, most people would agree that Apple should probably score very highly on a list of Superbrands. That, however, is not the case here.
The only two Apple products in the Top 100 are “Apple Macintosh Computer Systems” at number 86, and “Apple iPod Digital Audio Player-Recorder” at number 91. No clear reason why other entries are for a company, while for Apple they are for individual products — certainly “Apple” as a company entity would rank pretty highly on a rational list of top U.S. and international brands. Not only that, but some of the “Superbrands” that outrank Apple include, “Chevrolet Silverado Trucks” (32) (maybe Brandweek intends “Superbrand” to be understood in the same sense that Superfund is), “Empire Today Home Repair Services” (55), E-Surance Insurance-Auto (66), and in a head-to-head deathmatch of the brand titans, PeoplePC Website Internet Service Provider (90)!
It’s not like we’re trying to fluff up Apple, or join the iBandwagon, or drink their KoolAid, but whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, you have to admit that Apple is a very powerful brand, and any list of “Superbrands” that puts them well behind the Chevy Silverado, a dinosaur facing extinction, and “Empire Today Home Repair Services,” makes you wonder if the statisticians who figured all this out might be the same ones who recently lost their jobs in the financial sector after failing to notice the tsubprime tsunami.
