In what has become a recurring skit of rebranding theater, Microsoft is yet again relaunching its search service with a new name. This time around, until it is swept aside unceremoniously in a couple years, the name is Bing.

In case you need a reminder of the history of Microsoft search names, here it is: Originally called MSN Search, Microsoft rebranded their search service as Windows Live Search. Eventually, that clunker was shortened to the generic Live Search. Now, apparently realizing that “live” and “search” are both basic expectations all users have of any search engine, MS is changing the name yet again to Bing.

At least they have a plan now, right? They do, don’t they? Let’s check in with Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who had this to say about Bing in an interview today with Walt Mossberg at Walt’s All Things Digital conference, with my annotations in brackets:

Why Bing? Obviously we needed a better name [not great, just "better"], says Ballmer. “We needed a name that says this is all about search [if that's the case, doesn't 'Live Search' say that more directly than 'Bing'?].” Ballmer doesn’t seem to really know. “I’m not the creative guy, here…short mattered [short is the new (sch)long?]…people like to ‘verb up’ [every day before work, and then a quick shower]…works globally, doesn’t have negative connotations [other than this, anyway].” Walt: So everyone is going to walk out of here and say “Bing me”? [And 'Bing off' and 'Go Bing yourself'.] Clearly that’s Ballmer’s hope. “This is a very important step…it’s not a substitute for innovation, but we need to build brand equity in addition to technology equity.” [The eureka moment: brands matter! Take that Apple and Google -- we're onto your game!]

Was securing the trademark problematic? Ballmer says there were a few challenges [Bing & Bong?]. Bing Crosby, apparently, was not an issue [because he's dead?]. In any case, Ballmer seems to enjoy saying the word of his new search service. Maybe Microsoft should consider a new name for Zune. “Zing”?

…Walt circles back and notes that Ask spent an enormous amount of money on a rebranding campaign that ultimately failed despite some good buzz. How much money is Microsoft dedicating to the Bing branding campaign? “Lots,” says Ballmer. “When I approved the budget, I gulped, and a gulp in a $60 billion company, well, that’s a big gulp.” [Ahh, here's the strategy: name it anything and then dump giant Balmergulps full of cash into advertising it.]

Of course in the age of Googling, Twittering and Facebooking, everybody, even Microsoft, has realized the value of “verbing up” your name. (As an aside, can you imagine saying this: “Hey, you want to catch a movie tonight?” “Sorry, I’d love to, but I’ll be busy Microsofting all night long.” Maybe they can use that as a verb that means: “to reinstall Windows after the computer has crashed and burned”.)

Unfortunately, Microsoft seems to be grasping at straws with this one (or reaching for a bowl of bing cherries?), and when you consider that the word ping has evolved from a networking term to a more general usage meaning ‘communication’ (“I’ll ping you later with the directions to the party.”), it begins to seem like maybe, just maybe, the entire rationale for this new name was, simply, Bing is ‘ping’ with a ‘B’. If that strategy seems sickeningly familiar to you, perhaps it’s because we pointed out here a couple years ago when Microsoft launched Zune, named by Lexicon Branding, that no matter what Lexicon’s convoluted rationalization of the thinking behind the name Zune, it boiled down to Zune is ‘tune’ with a ‘Z’.

And for the original bit of rebranding humor, here’s Eric Idle reciting an old bit he did with Monty Python, Rock Notes, that neatly summarizes the process Microsoft went through to rename its search service…again: