It happens every Spring, but it needn’t. With the upturn in weather, giddy branders rush outside and dive willy-nilly into rigorous exercise without much thought of safety or technique. The season’s first casualty is Harcourt Assessment, which has suffered a Learnia.

Naming Safety Tip # 1: When engaging in a naming exercise, ALWAYS LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS. This will greatly reduce the possibility of a Learnia.

Says Blandor the Imponderable: “I love a good Learnia, in fact it is a smashing result! Though it does sound derivative of my own work— little matter, imitation is flattery after all. Le Bon Mots!!!”

Originally launched as a block of HDTV programming, the Igor-named Mojo will soon be the name of the entire network. From the Mojo website:

As of May 1, 2007, INHD completes its evolution to MOJO. MOJO is the premiere destination on cable for the modern man. It’s HD programming tailored to fit men’s interests from excellent food to extreme locales, from high-tech toys to high stakes antics, from Wall Street to easy street.

Turn up your volume and get your own groove on at Mojo.

Read more: China

Thankfully, we don’t have to make this stuff up. 666 Cold medicine is available everywhere.

The 666 spokesperson has not as yet responded to our request for comment.

Just how much longer will Anna Nicole be dead???

The U.S. Department of Defense’s aptly named, “Integrated Defense Acquisition, Technology & Logistics Life Cycle Management Framework” (click to engorge):

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