Are you one of millions of American parents that just can’t seem to get your kids to eat enough bacon? Fear not — Pork4Kids is here. No need to call the F.B.I., it’s from those wacky folks in the pork — not porn — industry. The site has lots of helpful tips that will soon have apprehensive children licking their chops:

Get Kids Involved:
Kids are much more likely to eat something they helped prepare. Let them mix ingredients, sample spices and taste test along the way.

Let Kids Play With Their Food:
Fun shapes and cool colors catch kids’ eyes and make them more receptive to unfamiliar foods.

Tell A Tale With Food:
Most foods have an interesting history behind them. Share a bit of background with your kids.

Grocery Store Scavenger Hunt:
Let your kids track down new foods when you visit the supermarket. Invite them to buy one new food each time you visit the store.

Pork4Kids launched in the glittering wake of success plowed by Cool-2b-Real, now known as zip4tweens, a website funded by The Cattlemen’s Association and devoted solely to getting pre-teen girls to eat more beef. On second thought, call the F.B.I.

In a related bite, Pork4Kids is brought to you by oddly named Pork Checkoff. The beef and pork industry “checkoff” programs use money from livestock sales for ad promotions, but we can’t help thinking of everybody’s favorite Russian playwright and storyteller, Anton Checkov. To celebrate this newfound connection between pork and Checkov, here’s a sample from the author’s story, “The Shoemaker And The Devil”:

What wealth! The footmen handed him a big piece of roast mutton and a dish of cucumbers, and then brought in a frying-pan a roast goose, and a little afterwards boiled pork with horse-radish cream. And how dignified, how genteel it all was! Fyodor ate, and before each dish drank a big glass of excellent vodka, like some general or some count. After the pork he was handed some boiled grain moistened with goose fat, then an omelette with bacon fat, then fried liver, and he went on eating and was delighted. What more? They served, too, a pie with onion and steamed turnip with kvass.

If that whet your appetite, try the Pork Checkov at Henrietta’s “Licensed Bar and Restaurant”: “Pork Chekhov: Pork fillet cut into medallions and cooked with shallots and dried cherries, then flamed with kirsch, stock & cream. $9.25.”