Consumer product names in the computer port technology sector run the gamut from the highly effective WiFi, Airport and FireWire, to the engineering-department-labeled IEEE 1394 and 802.11b.

Somewhere on the flaccid end of the scale resides “PCMCIA Card.” These are the cards that fit into those mysterious slots on your PC laptop and allow you to connect with wireless networks, ethernets, etc. According to the PCMCIA website, a new, smaller and more powerful card will soon be released. The code name is listed as “Newcard.”

Will PCMCIA give this new card a new name? What kind of name would stand a chance of being embraced by consumers in a positive way? We’ve created a taxonomy of consumer product names in the computer port technology sector to help answer these important questions.

Also, if you do any work related to the marketing, branding or advertising of consumer computer products, you can grab this taxonomy and plop it into you next mind-numbing PowerPoint presentation. It will instantly make it look like you have been doing something productive with your time, as well as serve to keep the whole room busy for hours while they attempt to assimilate its meaning.

Ditto for those of you tasked with marketing airlines, biotech / pharmaceutical companies, or web portals.