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We’ve all met people that tell us how honest they are or reassure us that they can be trusted over and over and over. Problem is, honest, trustworthy people don’t talk that way.
Nothing calls a person’s integrity into question faster than their own unsolicited assurances that it needn’t be questioned. Which is why we are cringing at the name of an association of independent insurance brokers that has had a television advertising blitzkrieg going for the last month. The name is “Trusted Choice™”, which appears on their website home page no less than 20 times, for added assurance insurance.
OK, to whet your appetite, here is a choice morsel from the Trusted Choice™ Home page:
ATTENTION INDEPENDENT AGENCIES!
Join Trusted Choice™ During June TV Ad Blitz
A three-week Trusted Choice™ television advertising campaign of more than 300 spots on such national cable networks as CNN and ESPN is underway and continues through June 29. Three commercials–one each for auto, home and business–will promote the benefits of using a Trusted Choice™ agency to millions of television viewers nationwide. Click here to see the complete advertising schedule. All independent agents and brokers are urged to join the more than 2,600 agencies that are Trusted Choice™ members. Benefit from the use of the consumer-tested Trusted Choice™ logo, national advertising and more! The support of the independent agency system that Trusted Choice™ represents is critical to the success of the branding effort. Learn more about why Trusted Choice™ needs your support, and why you need Trusted Choice™. Join the movement today or contact Trusted Choice™ for more information at (800) 221-7917.
Sorry about that, but sometimes this business gets ugly. You better go take a couple showers now.
AT&T Canada has changed its name to Allstream. The new brand name is explained on the company’s website:
Allstream is a new beginning for a new company. Our name change from AT&T Canada signals our new status as a fully independent company with a fresh new outlook. We understand that the continuous flow of information that travels through networks is more than just data - it’s the value people create.
We are now focused more than ever on providing communication solutions that enable your company to communicate, collaborate and compete more effectively.
Unfortunately, the communication solution they chose for themselves neither communicates or competes effectively. A cursory search for other corporations in the digital information sector with “stream” in their names turns up:
Stream, CapitalStream, On Stream, I-Stream, Bean-Stream, Silver Stream, Rapid Stream, Stream Theory, Health Stream, Digital Stream, Island Stream, Stream Down, Stream Logic, Streamlogics, Data Stream, Stream Soft, Jet Stream, Stream Software, Metric Stream, Packet Stream, Stream Box, Vital Stream, Code Stream and X-Stream Audio.
However, in a bold, differentiating stroke, the word “solutions” appears only eight times on the Allstream home page.
Orange, Telefonica Moviles, T-Mobile and Vodafone have announced the name of a joint venture that allows consumers to pay for things with their mobile phones. As with all naming projects, the quality of the name is inversely proportional to the number of people involved. When multiple corporations with different aesthetics need to agree on a name consensus quickly becomes the only goal and the results are predictable.
The “easily identifiable” new name? We’ll let the press release speak:
Tim Jones, CEO of Simpay said: “We expect the Simpay brand will be easily identifiable in our key markets for its convenience and reliability. Our aim is to see it on music websites, when making a flight booking or even when paying a bus fare. The announcement of our name and brand is a key milestone in our development and firmly establishes us on the mobile payments map.”
The Simpay website unveils another milestone, the spirited tagline that further establishes them on the mobile payments map: “Pay for stuff with your mobile”
But wait, there’s more. The website also introduces what the company surely hopes will be the next big catch phrase: “Simpay it.”
Decline of western civilization: Check out this great ad for Travelocity U.K. It’s yet another reminder of the biggest cultural divide between the United States and the rest of the world. Here in the U.S. violence is preferred over sex when it comes to what is acceptable for our kids to see on TV. Europeans have the screwy idea that sex is normal and it’s violence that is abhorrent. Crazy bastards.
Ever wonder how companies end up with names like Lucent, Scient, Viant, Navient, Sapient, Agilent, Aquent, Cerent and Luminant? They hire really, really awful naming and branding consultants. The “process” that corporations are then subjected to is as shallow and insipid as the resulting names, taglines and logos.
Fortunately, this phenomenon has been satirized for your protection by the good folks at eNormicom. It’s one of the funniest looks inside the blustering world of high cost/low impact naming and branding. And it’s all true, down to the smallest detail. Check it out.
James Bond is perhaps the most recognized fictional character name of the last fifty years. But where did Ian Fleming get the inspiration for a name that would come to embody the ultimate suave connoisseur of female favors? As explained by the Cumberland Bird Observers’ Club:
James Bond was an American Ornithologist (someone who studies birds) who wrote the classic field identification book “The Birds of the West Indies”. When Ian Fleming wrote “Casino Royale” in 1952 at his home in Jamaica he needed a name for his fictitious spy and, seeing Bond’s book in his library, decided to “borrow” the author’s name.
“I was determined that my secret agent should be as anonymous a personality as possible,” said Fleming. “It struck me that his [Bond’s] name, brief, unromantic and yet very masculine, was just what I needed.”
Bond’s book is still in print and, despite being originally written in 1936, is still the only definitive bird identification book covering all the birds of the West Indies.
Those 1950s West Indian birds have by now spawned a franchise that more than any other has assembled a roster of great character names. Here are some selected favorites:
| Bond Girls |
Bond Villains |
Bambi and Thumper
Bibi Dahl
Domino Derval
Elektra King
Fiona Volpe
Holly Goodhead
Honey Ryder
Jinx
Kara Milovy
Kissy Suzuki
Lupe Lamora
Mary Goodnight
May Day
Melina Havelock
Miss Caruso
Miss Taro
Molly Warmflash
Natalya Simonova
Octopussy
Paris Carver
Patricia Fearing
Plenty O’Toole
Pola Ivanova
Pussy Galore
Rosie Carver
Solitaire
Sylvia Trench
Tiffany Case
Vida and Zora, gypsy fighters
Wai Lin
Xenia Onatopp |
Baron Samedi
Blofeld
Bonita
Colonel Moon
Count Lippe
Doctor No
Dr Kananga / Mr Big
Elliott Carver
Emilio Largo
General Orlov
Gobinda
Goldfinger
Hai Fat
Hugo Drax
Irma Bunt
Jaws
Kamal Khan
May Day
Milton Krest
Miranda Frost
Mischka and Grischka
Mr. Kil
Necros
Nick Nack
Oddjob
Professor Dent
Rosie Carver
Scaramanga
Stamper
Tee Hee
Wint and Kidd |
Thanks to Abnu at Wordlab for sparking this Bondfest.
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Posted by Jay on
June 30th, 2003 - 3:11pm |
advertising + product names + what the...? |
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